Total pages in book: 46
Estimated words: 47381 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 237(@200wpm)___ 190(@250wpm)___ 158(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 47381 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 237(@200wpm)___ 190(@250wpm)___ 158(@300wpm)
“Well, I want you to,” he said. “And I’m more stubborn than you are.”
“I’m not sure that’s true.”
“It is true. Eyes on me.”
“Can I have a tissue first to clean up?”
He shifted, reaching over. She held up a hand without looking.
“Nope. Lean back and look at me.”
With a grumble, she did as he said. The expression on his face wasn’t one of barely veiled disgust. Instead, he appeared unexpectedly tender.
He held her chin with one hand while he used the tissue he’d grabbed to clean her up.
Brand Starr, the multi-millionaire, three-time Grammy winning rock star, was wiping up her tears and snot.
Perhaps it should have been embarrassing.
But he was being so caring that it kept her mesmerised. She couldn’t look away from him, even when he reached for another tissue and held it to her nose.
“Blow, Bumblebee.”
“I really think I should do that.” She was a snotty, gross mess.
“Blow,” he said more firmly.
So, she blew, knowing her cheeks were likely going as red as her nose. She flinched slightly as he wiped her nose.
“We need to put some cream on your nose.”
“Why do you even want me right now? I look awful!”
“I don’t think anyone looks their best when they’re ill—”
“I knew it! I’m disgusting!”
He frowned. “You didn’t let me finish. And you are in no way disgusting. That’s two.” He held up a finger.
“Two?” she queried. “Two what? Two spanks?”
Okay. She could handle that.
“Two punishments. I haven’t decided how many spanks you’ll get for each punishment since I don’t know your pain tolerance. Everyone is different. Some people can barely handle five spanks. Others need about fifty.”
“Fifty? You’re making that up!”
“Nope. Guessing your pain tolerance isn’t that high.”
“You’d guess right. I’d never sit again.”
“Slight exaggeration.” His lips twitched as he brushed her hair off her face.
“You took care of me,” she whispered. “You -you weren’t put off or disgusted.”
“You thought I’d run because of some tears and a snotty nose?” he asked incredulously. “You really don’t have much trust in me.”
“No,” she said quickly. “It’s not you!”
“Shh. Calm down. Every time you get upset, you start coughing. I need to get you another glass of water.”
“No, please. I have to tell you something first. About me.”
“All right, as long as you promise to remain calm. Otherwise, I’m putting you back to bed and banning you from talking for the next hour.”
“You can’t do that,” she said.
“Sure, I can. I’m in charge. I make the rules.”
That was not a rule she was going to accept. Sheesh. But she took a calming breath. It sounded a bit wheezy, but she ignored that. “It really is me. I can’t… I’m not good at letting go. At giving myself permission to let my Little out. That’s the real reason I didn’t name the teddy bear. Derek’s wife Sadie gave him to me when she learned I didn’t have any stuffies. But he doesn’t feel like mine because I can let myself have him.” She groaned. “It’s difficult for me to enter Little headspace unless I fully let go. And I don’t usually fully let go. Sometimes at the club, I can. But mostly its pretense. Because I always have to be on alert. I have to take care of myself. Am I making any sense?”
“You’re one of the most hardworking musicians I’ve ever met. You push yourself to be better every day and you’re already amazing.”
Wow. Those words were huge coming from Brand Starr.
“I didn’t see it before, but you kept pushing yourself so hard when we were touring because you thought you had to prove yourself.”
“I did have to prove myself, Brand.” She didn’t say it in an accusatory voice, but he grimaced.
“Yeah. I get that I made you prove yourself. I didn’t believe you were going to last when you first joined the tour.” He studied her face. “But everyone needs to relax and have a break at some time.”
“That’s why I’m here. My friend, Addie. She’s a doctor. I’ve had anxiety for years that I’ve managed pretty well. I thought it was flaring up, but Addie thinks I had that freak-out that last night because I overworked myself.”
He narrowed his gaze. “You can’t push yourself too hard. You’ll get burned out.”
“Yeah,” she agreed.
“Fuck, baby,” he muttered. “Not happening. Not on my watch. That’s probably why you got so sick.”
“Yeah,” she said again. There wasn’t much more she could add.
“Which means I need to make sure my girl rests and relaxes. And that she feels like she has permission to let go and slip into being Little.”
Okay, he got it.
“And that’s not going to happen by me just shoving a baby bottle in your mouth,” he said dryly. “Who knew?”
She giggled.
“Not me, obviously,” he added.
“The, um, the way you just took care of me. That, uh, that helped.”
“Yeah? That was just instinct.”