Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 79870 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79870 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
“Listen, Dad, I need to explain something real quick before you announce this thing to everyone in Atlanta. The reason I told you all of this is because I don’t like keeping secrets from you, and because I feel bad about not doing the right thing while he was here. But you can’t tell anyone else, okay? I know he wanted us to be honest with the people who are close to us, but the general public does not need to know any of this. It could be bad for his career, and I’m not willing to take that chance. Especially when I don’t even know if I’ll ever see him again.”
“Oh, you’ll see him again. He’s going to come back here and make an honest man of you if I have to drag his ass back here personally.” It was sweet that my dad was going all medieval on Kage, apparently so concerned about me that he was talking about manhandling a professional fighter. He was so flustered, his face was turning red, and for a moment I almost believed he could drag him back.
“Make an honest man of me?” I laughed. “Jesus, Dad. Are you planning a shotgun wedding or something?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. Dammit, you don’t just ruin my child for anyone else and then disappear.”
And just like that, all of the warm fuzzies I’d been feeling about my dad’s reaction vanished. “What do you mean ruin? Could you possibly be any more homophobic? I’m still the same person. Just because I’ve dated a guy doesn’t mean I’m worthless now.”
Did it?
Dad flushed. “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant that he made you fall in love with him. Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I believe in love and soulmates and all of that stuff. If your mother ever left me, I’d be ruined for anyone else.”
“Oh,” I said simply.
“Tell me one thing, son. Think about it, and be honest, with me and with yourself. Did he ever give you any indication that he wanted more from you than—” He paused, searching for the right words, probably trying to avoid anything sexual. “Well, you gave him your love, and no one can fault you for that. Your heart was in the right place. But is that what he was asking of you?”
I thought of the necklace, the symbol of our affection that I’d so carelessly disregarded. “Yes. He said that’s what he wanted.”
Dad nodded once, resolutely. “Then he needs to do right by you.”
The next day, I was lounging in the visitor’s chair in my mom’s hospital room. Well, maybe lounging is too comfortable a word to describe what happened on that slab of unforgiving foam they called a cushion. It was the closest thing I had to a hair shirt, and so I wallowed there every day, starving and doing penance. I didn’t want or deserve comfort.
I hadn’t touched my laptop in two days, but I reached into the case and pulled out Kage’s tablet for the fiftieth time. I just sat there with it in my hands without even powering it up, searching my memory for a hint of what could possibly be Kage’s favorite place. I’d already tried all the variations of every place I could think of: The Alcazar, home, Vegas, Sin City, Nevada, USA, UFC… Hell, I even tried the word nowhere, because I’d tried every-fucking-where else.
It was hard to resist the temptation to break into the tablet. I was alone with my thoughts most of the time, since Mom was still out of it on pain meds most of the time. She was supposed to go home the next day, and no one knew what that would be like. She would have to depend on Jennifer for most everything.
I had already announced my plans to return to Vegas as soon as Mom was settled into her bed at home. Maybe it was selfish of me, but I didn’t want to stay in that house with Jennifer. I knew I would have to confront her at some point, but I wasn’t ready for that. My feelings were still too raw, and every confrontation scenario I imagined ended with me choking the life out of her sorry ass.
“You doing okay, Jamie?” My dad poked his head in through the door of mom’s room, a bag of corn chips in his hand.
“Yeah, I’m good.” I stuck the tablet back into the case without ever powering it up. What was the use anyway? I’d never figure out the password, and it was probably best that I didn’t.
Dad held the bag of chips out to me. My stomach groaned, but I ignored it. “No, thanks.”
“Have you even eaten anything today?” he asked. “I’m about ready to have you admitted to the hospital. People can’t live on nothing but air and water.”