Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 69155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 346(@200wpm)___ 277(@250wpm)___ 231(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 69155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 346(@200wpm)___ 277(@250wpm)___ 231(@300wpm)
I can only hope Tarryn will keep him in check with her wild ideas of going to court and winning this.
It might just keep him under control.
“Is that poor baby okay?” Briella asks. “Gosh, he’s just the most beautiful child.”
“He’s okay, he’s really upset.” I sigh, running my hands down my face. “It’s hard on him, he does love his father. He doesn’t understand.”
“You’re doing what’s best for him, honey. Don’t doubt that. I’m so, so sorry we never knew what that man was doing to you.”
“It wasn’t your job to know.” I give her a weak smile.
She gives me a hug and then tells me they’ll go and get some dinner and come back to make my night a little easier. I tell her thanks, but I just want to rest. That’s the truth. I’m sore, confused, and there is so much happening in my mind right now I honestly can’t make sense of it. I just need to be alone with my thoughts. After giving me another hug, she leaves with Alarick and Cohen. Kendric stays, telling them he’ll leave when he’s done.
Once we’re alone, I find myself fidgeting uncomfortably because I quite honestly don’t know what to say to him right now. Thank you, maybe? That’s a good start.
“Thank you,” I say, my voice softer than it usually ever is. “I really appreciate what you did for me today, mostly what you did for Jayden. He really likes you.”
“He’s a good kid,” he says, screwing a panel into the wall for the keypad.
“Yeah, yeah he is.”
We fall silent again and once Kendric has finished with the keypad, he turns to me. “You set up a pin, somethin’ only you know and somethin’ he certainly can’t fuckin’ guess. Make sure you don’t tell anyone. Keep yourself safe. That man is fuckin’ unstable.”
I nod, crossing my arms and rubbing them with my hands.
“You good?” he asks, staring at me, eyes narrowing.
“I don’t know. I feel ... I feel so god damned guilty. Like I’m making a big mistake. Like I’m the worst mother in the world.”
“Trust me,” he says, placing the tools down. “You’re better than most fuckin’ mothers because you’re puttin’ that boy’s wellbeing first. Know it’s hard, believe me. Seein’ your son upset because he doesn’t understand is a fuckin’ horrible thing but knowin’ you’re keepin’ him safe has to be worth somethin’. It has to be. You’d never live with yourself if that motherfucker laid a hand on your boy.”
He’s right.
I wouldn’t.
“I know that, I do, but it still bothers me. There is still a part of me that wonders if I’m making the wrong choice.”
“That’s normal. You do what you said, you go to the court and let them decide. You let them hear what he’s done, and you let them choose if they think he’s safe. He gets help, he might be good, but if he doesn’t, that rage will build and build, and one day it will snap on your son. I promise you that.”
He’s speaking from experience. I can tell.
“Is that what happened to you?”
He pauses and then glances at me, his face tight but not angry. “Yeah, it is. My father beat my mother for years behind closed doors. Same as you. We didn’t know when we were younger, but when we grew up, we started seeing the marks, hearin’ her cry and wondered what was goin’ on. He never hurt us. Fuck, not once. Until the day when I was ten, and I told him to stop hurtin’ Momma, that I knew what he was doin’. He beat me so bad I ended up in the hospital for a week. My fuckin’ hero took me down. Don’t ever think a man like that won’t hurt your child, Zariah. He might not now, but one day, when that boy stands up to him ... it’ll be different.”
My heart feels like it’s going to split in half.
Poor Kendric. That’s a horrible thing to live through.
“I’m so sorry. What happened after that?”
“The two of them split up, and I never saw my father again. Wish every fuckin’ day my mother left and took us away from that. I admire your strength for doin’ what you’re doin’ now, I know it’s hard. Seen first-hand just how hard it is.”
I swallow, trying to keep this pool of emotions inside me from erupting out. “I feel like I’ve already let my son down. I shouldn’t have been with Reece long enough to even get pregnant. I knew what he was like, yet I continued to let him do it because of some sick, twisted attachment.”
“It happens, more than you know. Don’t go beatin’ yourself up about it. It was abuse, and abuse can be really fuckin’ hard to walk away from.”
I stare at him and, in that moment, after those words, all I want to do is pounce on him. I want to take him to the sofa and do things to him that I’m certain aren’t right. Yet still, I want them. I want so many things I shouldn’t. Especially when it comes to Kendric. It’s like he understands everything I am and doesn’t judge me for it. He doesn’t talk down to me or tell me of the mistakes I’ve made, he simply accepts me.