Total pages in book: 63
Estimated words: 57043 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 285(@200wpm)___ 228(@250wpm)___ 190(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 57043 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 285(@200wpm)___ 228(@250wpm)___ 190(@300wpm)
I turn my back on Renee and stride over to my own car. She looks out her window and lifts her hand to wave to me.
I wave back.
Then she backs out of her spot, her tires cutting new tracks in the snow, and pulls carefully out onto the road. Renee pauses to make sure there's no traffic, even though there hasn't been another car since the one that drove by, then starts down the road.
I wasn't going to stand here and watch her leave, but that's what I end up doing. Her tail lights flash red a couple of times as she makes her way down the road. I can see her silhouette in the front seat when the moonlight hits her just right. I don't have enough time to watch her before she turns on her blinker, stops, waits...
And goes.
And then she's gone, and the road's dark. Bar's dark. Sky's dark, covered in winter clouds.
I swallow hard, then unlock my car and dig my ice scraper out from the back seat. There’s no ice tonight, just a thin layer of snow. I brush it all off the car and watch it fall away, disappearing as it goes. Then I drop into the driver's seat. The leather's cold and feels pretty damn unwelcoming after the warmth of the bar and the warmth of Renee. I pull the door shut behind me, shutting out the wind, and start the car.
Maybe I should have run after her.
I don’t know what to do when she won’t tell me what happened. She plays it off with shy smiles and sweet laughs. But something happened.
“It wasn't pretend for me,” I whisper. It's too late for Renee to hear me, but I have to get the words out anyway. I flick on the headlights, and they light up a piece of the empty road, some dark trees, and the rest of the night without her. “I think I love you, Renee.”
I let my head fall back against the headrest.
Nobody heard me say it, but that doesn't seem to matter.
“Fuck,” I admit in the silence, not knowing how to tell this woman she is breaking my heart, and I think it’s because hers was broken too badly long ago. “I know I love you, and it's not the same for you.” I wish she’d let me fix it. If only I knew what happened, I’d make it right. I fell in love with her…and I’d have to be blind not to see that she fell in love with me, too.
Griffin
Three Weeks Prior
December 1st
* * *
The afternoon light hits differently. It’s softer yet brighter and brings a warm glow to the dark wood in the bar. I glance at the clock and note it's at the tail end of the lunch rush, and everything is just how it should be. Plenty of free stools at the bar, and it's not too crowded. There's room for anybody who walked in right now, and we haven't reached the part of the evening where couples come in on dates or the games start drawing a crowd.
I didn't always like the slow part of the day. In college, I liked it best when the bar was bursting at the seams with the music too loud and everybody yelling over it. Back then it felt like anything could happen if you ordered just the right drink and talked to just the right girl. Nothing was too serious, and every day was a fresh start. Life could have taken me anywhere. Every time Brody and I went down Main Street bar hopping and talking up big dreams of owning our own bar one day, I thought I wanted something new. Another girl would lean up next to the bar, and my imagination would run away with me.
It's funny how dreams change.
Or...how they get more specific. Brody found what he was looking for and damn did he get something he never could have imagined. There are a million places in the world you can buy a bar or build one, and there're a million ways it can look, but we settled on this one, close to my hometown, but far enough away to do it however we wanted.
It was just a conversation at first, and then it was money, and then it was sweating and sawing and installing fixtures and reading up on building codes and city ordinances until my eyes burned from lack of sleep and my shoulders were heavy with stress. We had to file for permits and get our licenses in order and…every fucking little thing you don’t know you need until someone tells you that you do.
Now it's real.
I’m proud and grateful….and now I can’t deny along the way I realized what I was missing.
Renee leans over a table in the corner and puts down the bill in its folder like she's giving the patrons a gift, and that's how they take it. The two men in blue jeans and polo shirts give her big smiles and look her in the eye. Everybody brightens up a little looking at Renee. She’s got an air about her that just makes you smile.