Total pages in book: 61
Estimated words: 58342 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 292(@200wpm)___ 233(@250wpm)___ 194(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 58342 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 292(@200wpm)___ 233(@250wpm)___ 194(@300wpm)
“It’s not about your fucking age. You don’t fuck your teammate’s wives or sisters. That’s sacred. And even if I could get past that, how could I be sure you truly wanted it and it had nothing to do with your anxiety?”
Her chin drops and her eyes widen. “What the fuck? What could this possibly have to do with my anxiety?”
“Like I said, I know more about depression than anxiety, but I know self-soothing is a thing. Coping with alcohol or drugs or sex. My teammate went through that.”
Her shoulders slump with defeat. “That’s not me. Whether you believe me or not, I had to overcome my anxiety to say what I did last night. It’s the opposite of self-soothing.”
Fuck. She’s killing me. I step closer to her, cupping her face in my hands. “It’s not that I didn’t want you. I did. I do. But Trin...I’m fucked up. If you really knew me, you wouldn’t want me anymore.”
Sadness swims in her eyes. “You have so many excuses. And that’s all they are. You don’t need to spare my feelings.”
“I swear to you, every single reason that feels like an excuse to you is real to me. I care about you, and I don’t fuck women I care about.”
She pushes her brows together. “That makes no sense.”
I shrug. “I meant it when I said I’m fucked up.”
“So you only like casual sex? One-night stands?”
Part of me wants to be completely honest with her. Tell her things I’ve never shared with anyone. Instead, I give her a slice of the truth and nothing more.
“I don’t even do that.”
Then I lean down and brush my lips over hers, forcing myself to keep my hands on her face instead of letting them roam all the places I’m dying to explore. She lets out a small moan of surprise but then sinks into me. The kiss I intended to be short and sweet turns into much more as she parts her lips and my hunger for her comes pouring out.
She even tastes sweet. I knew she would. I slide one of my hands down to her neck, then around to cup the back of her neck as I back her against the wall of the cabin. Her hands clutch my back with so much certainty I almost say fuck it and drop to my knees to unfasten her pants.
Just a kiss. That’s all this can be. One kiss to show her how fucking much I want her.
My erection grinds into her stomach and she pulls away from the kiss, gasping for air. Her arms remain locked around me as I lean my forehead against hers, not ready to break our contact yet.
“Stay inside,” I say against her lips. “I have a better idea than running around in a snowstorm.”
“Oh, really?”
I groan. “It’s not that. I wish like hell it was, but it’s something else. Something fun.”
I can feel her smiling. “Fun sounds good.”
“Truth.”
Trinity announces her choice and downs a shot of vintage Macallan whiskey. I saw the unopened bottle stashed in the storage room a few days ago and decided to use it to up the stakes in our first game of Boggle.
Truth or Dare Boggle is simple, really: you lose, you have to pick a truth or a dare and down a shot of whiskey. Considering each game only lasts three minutes, we’re on a fast track to getting wasted.
“How did you lose your virginity?” I ask.
Her smile is shy. “I lost it to my college boyfriend, Dallas.”
“Dallas?” I scoff.
“He was a virgin, too. It lasted less than a minute.”
We lock eyes and both burst out laughing. That must have been comical.
“He didn’t reciprocate or anything?” I ask.
She shrugs. “He tried, but...I was so uncomfortable. It’s kind of impossible for me to relax when I’m with someone for the first time. I’ve only been with one other man, and it took more than a month for me to relax enough that I wanted to get on top and get myself off.”
I just stare for a few seconds, dumbfounded. “Wait. You had to get yourself off? He couldn’t do it?”
“I mean...he tried. I’m just so uptight that he couldn’t. And it was fine. I figured out how being on top works.”
Christ. I’m completely hard. Again. Knowing Trin’s never been with a real man who took the time to get her off—repeatedly—makes it even harder for me to stay on my side of the kitchen table.
“Did he eat your pussy?”
Her cheeks flush. “No, I’m too self-conscious for that.”
She wouldn’t be with me. I’d take as much time as I needed so she was comfortable and into it. But since I’m actively trying not to end up in bed with her, I force myself to move on.
I lose the next game of Boggle, the whiskey going down smoothly. Pretty sure reimbursing the cabin owner for that bottle is going to cost me a pretty penny, but I don’t give a fuck. Trinity and I both need to unwind and have some fun.