Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 84322 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 422(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84322 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 422(@200wpm)___ 337(@250wpm)___ 281(@300wpm)
Unable to control it, I started to cry. Placing my head between my knees, I let myself unleash all of the feelings I’d kept inside these past couple of days.
A few moments later, a voice startled me. “Everything alright out here?”
I turned to find Ryder’s housekeeper, Lorena, walking toward me. Dressed in an all-white uniform, she was petite with medium-length black hair, probably in her later fifties. I knew she was really important to him, so her presence made me a little nervous. It felt like the closest thing to meeting his mother.
“Did I scare you? I have a habit of doing that to house guests.” She snickered.
“I heard about your cowbell,” I said, managing a smile.
“Ah…he told you about that, eh?”
“Yes.” I wiped my eyes and held out my hand as I stood up. “We didn’t get a chance to talk at the funeral.”
“I’ve known about you for a long time.” She gestured to the grass. “Please, sit.”
She took a seat next to me.
I turned to her. “He talks to you about me?”
“Yes, he does.”
That made me feel even more foolish for getting upset about Benny.
“How much did he tell you?”
“I know you show your boobies and your cha-cha for a living.”
“Okay.” I laughed nervously. “So, everything then.”
“Yeah. I used to tease him about it, until he came back from that first trip. Then I could see how serious he was about you. After he told me everything, I realized why you do what you do. So I stopped being a judgmental wiseass.”
Her honesty was refreshing.
“I can understand why you were skeptical. Some days I can’t even believe what I do for a living. But hopefully it won’t be forever.” I picked at some grass. “So, how could you tell he was serious about me?”
“Because Ryder came back from that trip a changed man. I can’t even put my finger on it. I could see it in his face, I guess. It was like new life had been breathed into him. And that spoke volumes about you. Plus, he told me all about your sweet little brother. I’m sorry I ever judged you. You’re supporting your family.”
I really liked this woman. “Well, thank you for saying that.”
We both looked off into the distance. “He mentioned you’ve been with him since childhood?” I asked.
“Yes. He’s like a son to me. I care about him a lot. And I can tell you do, too.”
“I guess it’s obvious…”
“Your tears don’t lie.”
She could see right through me.
“I’m in love with him.” Amazed at my own admission, I added, “That’s the first time I’ve ever said it out loud.”
“Does he know that?”
“I haven’t said it in those words. I don’t want to say them until I’m sure he feels the same. And this hasn’t exactly been the opportune time to address it.”
“Why don’t you tell me what’s really going on?”
“What do you mean?”
“The reason you were crying just now.”
I looked down for a moment. “I’m afraid to lose him.”
“Why?”
“Can I tell you something in confidence?”
“Depends on what it is, if it affects Ryder.”
“It’s about his ex…Mallory. I assume you know her?”
“Yes. She lived here for a couple of years.”
That’s right.
“So you knew her well, then?”
“Not as well as you would think. We were never close. She respected me, but I don’t really think she liked me.”
“What makes you say that?”
“I don’t think she appreciated having me around. I think she found a housekeeper who shows up every day to be intrusive. She would look at me funny when I’d be folding Ryder’s underwear, stuff like that. She didn’t seem to understand that I’d changed his diapers, never mind folding his underwear. I never felt completely comfortable when she was living here. But after a while, I realized it wasn’t necessary to feel comfortable, as long as Ryder was happy. He seemed to be, until they broke up. But I never felt she was right for him.” She arched her brow. “Anyway, what about her?”
I needed to let it out. “Mallory cornered me at the wake—in the bathroom. She wanted to inquire about how serious Ryder and I were. She said she thought I should know she planned to tell him she was still in love with him. She wants to get him back and asked me not to say anything, given all the stress he’s under. I agreed that it was best not to bring it up, but I’ve been dying inside, feeling like I’m about to lose him.”
Lorena’s eyes widened. “Shit. She had some nerve pulling you aside like that.”
“Yeah. But I’m worried. I don’t trust that he doesn’t still have feelings for her.”
She nodded. “Let me tell you something about Ryder. All that boy has ever wanted is to be loved. He loved Mallory, but she broke his heart. I’m not so sure he’s going to be able to forget about that, no matter what she tells him. And don’t be so quick to discount his feelings for you. You didn’t exist in his life when all of that went down.”