Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 92848 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92848 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 464(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
Nausea churns in the pit of my belly as the acidic taste of bile rises in my throat. Any minute I’ll vomit all over the cream-colored couch.
Rubber-soled shoes squeak against the hardwood announcing someone’s presence. “Ma’am, dinner is served.”
“Thank you. We’ll be along in a minute or so.”
Just as the older house manager turns to leave, Mom says, “Dolly, would you be an absolute dear and make me another martini? Extra dry this time.”
“Of course.”
“Carina?” Mom prompts when I remain silent. “Would you like a drink to enjoy with dinner? We have so much to celebrate tonight.”
I force a slight smile before shaking my head. I’m dying inside, praying that she didn’t overhear our conversation.
Dolly’s eyes soften just a bit as our gazes cling before she slips from the room as quietly as she appeared.
She’s barely out of earshot when Mom says with a sigh, “After years of waiting on customers hand and foot, it’s nice to experience the other side of things.”
I shoot a quick look toward the kitchen. “Mom…”
“What?” Irritation bleeds into her voice. “I’m just being truthful. What’s wrong with that?”
I drag a hand over my face, unsure what to say to this woman.
“You know, Carina, there are times when I get the distinct impression that you don’t appreciate all the sacrifices I’ve made in order to get us where we are today. Do you think you’d have your own dance studio or all the luxuries you’ve grown accustomed to if it weren’t for me? Your life has been very cushy, and you want for nothing.” Her eyes narrow. “Maybe you should think about that instead of judging me as if you’re so much better. Like me, you weren’t born into this lifestyle.”
As tempting as it is to stare out the window and mentally escape this conversation, that’s not possible. My gaze carefully combs over her. With the blonde extensions, cosmetic surgery, injections, designer clothes and handbags, she’s almost unrecognizable from the woman who gave birth to me.
Once upon a time, we were close.
We were like two survivors clinging to one another during a storm, just hoping to make it through intact. Now that we have, her personality has done a one eighty. She’s become one of the customers she’d come home after a long shift at the restaurant and complain about.
It’s not like I haven’t changed.
Of course I have. It’s only natural. But I don’t feel I’m owed this life. I’m grateful to Crawford for everything he’s provided. I’m also well aware that in the not-so-distant future, I’ll need to stand on my own two feet and take care of myself.
My mother has no intention of doing that.
Ever.
“You’re wrong. I’m appreciative of everything you’ve done. All the sacrifices you’ve made throughout the years. I remember the long nights and the double shifts you took just to make ends meet.”
She sniffs. “Well, you certainly don’t act like it. It’s no secret that Crawford’s friends and staff think I’m trash. I don’t need to hear it from you as well.”
My shoulders wilt as I force my feet into movement and settle on the navy chair. “I’m sorry. I never meant to come across that way. I just…” My voice trails off as I try to figure out a way to express myself without rousing her anger. “You know how much I care about Crawford. He’s been so good to us. I would never want him or Ford to think that I’m using them for their money.”
“You do realize that they have a ton of it, right? More than they could possibly need?”
“It doesn’t matter,” I snap in frustration.
She presses her lips into a thin line.
When she doesn’t say anything more, I force out the rest, knowing I need to get it off my chest once and for all. It might not change anything, but I’ll feel better for it.
“I love you, Mom. I really do. But I don’t want to see you hurt Crawford. If you’re not going to stick around and be the partner he needs, then you should end it now. Don’t put him through the wringer again.”
Her brows pinch together. “The last thing I need is a lecture from you, Carina.”
“That’s not what this is. I just want you to think about how your decisions affect him.”
Instead of responding, she rises to her feet in one smooth motion. “The food is getting cold.”
With that, she stalks from the family room, leaving me alone with only the tangle of my thoughts for company.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Ford
My father’s ugly words churn through my head as we drive back to campus. It hurts that he would think the only reason I’m interested in Carina is because he made her off limits. My feelings have absolutely nothing to do with that.
Much like this car ride, dinner had been a quiet, uncomfortable affair. Carina mostly shoved food around her plate and Pamela sulked, barely murmuring a sound. My father sat at the head of the table and stewed. All that could be heard was the scrape of utensils against fine bone china.