Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 80074 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80074 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 400(@200wpm)___ 320(@250wpm)___ 267(@300wpm)
He nodded. “I wouldn’t be able to stick by yours.”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“Why?”
“I care about you too much to let you watch me die.”
My hand shot up to my mouth, feelin’ like I was gonna puke.
“I would never be able to put you through what I went through with my mother.”
“Jackson...”
“She forgot me first, Harley. I was her favorite, like you’re mine.”
My heart was breaking to hear his admission. The air from my lungs had literally been sucked out of me, and my heart was shattering, breaking with shards of glass that were etching their way into my skin and leaving scars in their wake. Wounds caused by my boy’s words.
“I’m not trying to hurt you.”
“Then why does it feel like you are.”
His jaw clenched, searching my eyes for somethin’ I would happily hand over to him if he asked.
“There were times when she was still my mom, sitting there, looking at me. Showing me her love. Then she was gone. Nothing left of her. Dementia took everything from her, even the love in her eyes. She would look at me like I was a stranger, not her son that she brought into this world. I can’t look at you like that.”
“Jackson—”
“Over time, I started looking at her the same way. It would kill me if you looked at me any other way than you are right now. Do you understand me?”
“What do you see in my eyes?”
“A future.”
“What do you see in yours?”
“A man who might not have one.”
“Rudolph, I love you. And that means lovin’ every last part of you. The good and the bad. No matter the results of that test, I’ll love you. I’ll stand by you. I’ll watch those videos with you.” I burst into tears. “Prayin’, hopin’, you’ll remember me, but if you don’t ... then it won’t matter. ’Cuz I’ll remember you, and no one can take that away from us. Not even you.”
His eyes watered.
I’d only seen him cry once, and yet it didn’t compare to what was occurin’ right in front of my eyes at this moment.
“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“Please just let me be here for you.”
“Harley, you are in so many ways, and don’t for one second think you’re not.”
I took a deep breath, ready for anythin’ he was about to throw in my direction, but my phone rang.
“It’s Shiloh,” he addressed, handin’ me my phone off the coffee table.
I hit silent. “I’ll call her back.”
Moments later it rang again.
“Answer it. Might be important.”
I did.
“Hel—”
“Where are you?” she questioned, her voice laced with panic.
I shot straight up. “What’s wrong?”
“Come home. Alone. Now!”
“Shi—”
She hung up.
“You better go, babe.”
I nodded. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Promise?”
“Yes.”
“I hate havin’ to leave you. If it were anyone but Shiloh you know I wouldn’t leave, right?”
“I do.” He pulled the hair away from my face. “Are you okay?”
I nodded again, frazzled with what was going on with my cousin.
“Call me when you know what’s up, yeah?”
“I will.”
We kissed goodbye, I leashed up Teddy, and out the door I went.
With my heart in my throat...
Every minute of the way.
Chapter 21
<>Harley<>
“Shiloh?! Where are you?!” I rushed through the door of our dorm, shoutin’.
Nothin’.
“Shiloh?!
Still nothin’.
Haulin’ ass across the small livin’ space that split up our bedrooms, I ran into her room with Teddy behind me. Haltin’ my steps when she came into view.
I cocked my head to the side, speakin’ with conviction, “Shiloh, why are you carryin’ a metal bat, lookin’ like you’re about to fuck some shit up?” It was then I took in her appearance.
Her chest was risin’ and fallin’.
Her eyes were bloodshot red as if she’d been bawlin’ her eyes out. Hair stickin’ up in all directions like she’d been tryin’ to rip it out. Her clothes all disarray.
With a hand tremblin’, tightly grippin’ her weapon.
“What’s goin’ on?” I asked, terrified she’d been physically hurt by someone.
Judgin’ by her appearance bein’ the way it was, and the bat she was holdin’ on to for dear life, it made me think, damn, she was attacked on campus and was in shock mode or somethin’. Although, Trigger would’ve been here with her if that had happened to his Shy.
He loved her so much.
“Shiloh, please talk to me? You’re freakin’ me the fuck out. Did someone hurt you?”
She stumbled over her words, noddin’ profusely.
My heart sank to the floor, maybe I was right...
“What happened? Were you attacked?”
She burst into tears again, barely able to hold herself upright.
“Here, come on. Let’s sit down.” I guided her to sit on the edge of her bed. Her body shakin’ uncontrollably in my grasp while I did.
For the life of her, she wouldn’t let go of the bat when I tried removin’ it from her hands. It got to the point I gave up tryin’, lettin’ her have the comfort it was obviously provin’. Which scared me even more in the process.