Total pages in book: 120
Estimated words: 113944 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 570(@200wpm)___ 456(@250wpm)___ 380(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 113944 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 570(@200wpm)___ 456(@250wpm)___ 380(@300wpm)
“She doesn’t have any emotional expectations of you. She doesn’t pressure you to open up. You needed that at first. It was the only way you were ever going to know that, really, you don’t want distance.”
What he really didn’t want was to have this conversation. It felt like he was being profiled. Made him feel exposed to know someone could read him so well. Gwen was good at reading him, but he didn’t mind that so much—it didn’t feel like an imposition, though it probably should have. So Zander concentrated on the game that Bracken and Derren were playing, hoping Ally would take the hint.
“Marlon’s told me a lot about her,” continued Ally, unfortunately. “Enough for me to realize that, like you, she doesn’t give much of herself to people. You both seem to back away from anyone who pushes. But you didn’t like that she backed off and gave you space, did you? You wanted her to push. You wanted to know her, and you wanted her to want to know you. Over time, she stopped backing off and dropped her guard a little. But the irony is that if she hadn’t given you space in the beginning, if she hadn’t fought to keep a distance from you, you might never have seen that you don’t want it because your defenses would have stayed up.”
Zander sighed. “Are we done with the amateur psychology?” He tried to sound bored, but they both knew she’d interpreted the situation too well for his liking.
“No. Now, as I said, neither of you give much of yourself to people. You both seem that way for different reasons, though. With you, it’s because you find it instinctively uncomfortable to connect with people, probably because the connections you had with your family, particularly with your twin—a person who should have been closest to you—were weak and, in Rory’s case, warped. I wouldn’t want to let people close either.” Ally propped her elbow on the table and rested her chin on her hand. “You confuse Gwen.”
That made him frown. And intrigued him, which was no doubt Ally’s intent. “Confuse her?”
“The level of attention you pay her. The possessiveness. The way you try to preempt what’s best for her. It baffles her. That’s how I realized that the reason she doesn’t give much of herself to people is that she doesn’t think they want it—and she definitely doesn’t trust that they’ll want to keep or protect her.”
That made sense, he thought. Gwen’s mother and stepfather were too wrapped up in their own drama to care about her. Her biological father hadn’t even acknowledged her.
“I think a big factor was that some of the boys who pursued her over the years were really just trying to get to her foster sister.”
He scowled. “Why?”
Ally pointed at him. “That right there is why you’re so confusing to her. She knows it’s not about looks for you. She doesn’t get what it is about. It’s not that she has a low sense of self-worth. She doesn’t. She’s confident, bold. She’s at ease with who she is; she just didn’t expect anyone else to be.”
“You said she doesn’t give much of herself to people, but she let Yvonne, Marlon, and Julie get close.”
“Ah, but have you noticed that she sort of mothers them?”
Thinking on that, Zander realized she was right. Gwen put them first, protected them, and was a rock to each of them. In a way, she’d fostered that family—not the other way around. “She’s strong for them. The dominant force of the family, really.”
Ally nodded. “You don’t need her strength, you don’t need a rock, and that makes you unfamiliar territory for Gwen. She’s not used to being around people who are as equally strong as she is. She doesn’t quite know how to deal with someone who’ll want her to rely on them. Everyone wants to know there’s someone they can rely on, even if they never intend to do it. She’s never had a rock. The idea of having one will be as alluring as it is scary.”
Because to rely on someone, you had to trust them, Zander thought, and trust was hard for Gwen. “Okay, Dr. Ally, I got a question for you.”
“Dr. Ally,” she echoed with a smile. “I like that.”
“She invested some trust in me. She’s let me in a little. She’s let me know her. But she still holds back. Why?”
“This confuses you?” Ally rolled her eyes. “We’re shifters, Zander. What are shifters most known for doing?”
He shrugged. “Mating.”
“Yes. We’re most known for having true mates and metaphysical bonds.”
“I already explained to Gwen that having a true mate doesn’t mean I’m spoken for unless I’ve bonded with them.”
“Which is likely the only reason she let you in her bed. But this is what she’ll be thinking: that once the Brandt situation is over, you’ll go back to your pack and she’ll never see you again—that this is a . . . holiday romance for you. If this is more, you need to make that clear to her.” Ally tilted her head. “Would your wolf fight you on it?”