Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 129207 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 646(@200wpm)___ 517(@250wpm)___ 431(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129207 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 646(@200wpm)___ 517(@250wpm)___ 431(@300wpm)
I take a breath, already feeling my voice begin to waver. “Axel was three when I was born, and my childhood years with him were the happiest times of my life, though I don’t think he ever knew that. He was always patient with me, always kind, caring, and larger than life. He never pushed me away, was never irritated by his little sister always being around, never berated or shamed me. He was my biggest champion, right up until the day he was taken from this life.”
“He—” my voice cracks, and the lump in my throat is too much to bear. Tears flow over and cascade down my face, and every remaining piece of me crumbles. My gaze shifts toward the casket, wishing there were some way it would just open up and he’d walk right out, but he’s never coming back.
“He was—” I try again, but the words refuse to come, and as I look back toward the crowd, my gaze lands on Ezra’s. There’s a brokenness there, and I know he’s feeling every ounce of my pain. He goes to get up, to help me through the final words of my eulogy, but Dylan beats him to it, already stepping into my side.
He captures my hand behind the dais and gives a gentle squeeze. “I’ve got you, Rae,” Dylan says before scanning my messy speech and picking up right where I left off.
It seems to last forever, when in reality it’s only a few minutes before I finally get to step down and make my way back to my seat, only as I pass by Ezra’s row, his hand sneaks out and captures mine. I pause, glancing down and meeting his heavy stare as a million messages pass between us.
My skin burns where he touches me, and for just a moment, I’m rooted to the spot, unable to move. I can’t look away, and as he squeezes my hand, I want nothing more than to fall into his strong arms and feel the way he holds me, feel the way he brings me home, but remembering the agony he left me in all those years ago, I drop my gaze to where he holds me, distantly noticing a familiar ring on his finger—Axel’s ring—and I pull my hand free before finally turning my back.
I can’t take it today. I can’t handle seeing him, feeling him. I need to get out of here.
My heart races as I make my way back to my seat, and as Ezra is called up after me, my knee bounces, counting down the minutes until I can race out of the church and take a deep breath.
The pain is too great. It hurts too much. How am I ever supposed to go on without Axel?
Ezra makes his way to the front, and the eager crowd seems much more thrilled about hearing his speech than mine. He clears his throat, and just like that, the Ezra show has been turned on. “Axel was my best friend and the reason I am who I am today, not that I’m exactly someone to be proud of, and yet he was. No matter what shit I got myself into, he was always right there. He had my back, just as I had his, and I’m proud to say that right up until the day he died, he was able to achieve everything he wanted, every dream, no matter how big or small.”
Ezra pauses, taking a slight breath. “He had three great loves in his life—his mom, his beautiful sister, Raleigh, and performing for our fans night after night, which was his greatest dream of all—a dream he pulled me into before I even had a chance to question it.” The congregation laughs and Ezra has no choice but to wait so he can be heard. “The day I first met him,” he continues, his hypnotic gaze shifting to me. “It was easily the best day of my life. My father had moved us to Michigan for work, and there in our new small hometown, my life changed. My first day of school, I met Axel, and within ten minutes of meeting, he was already demanding that I come home with him to start a band. At that point, I’d never heard him play, but there was something so compelling about him that I agreed. That afternoon, Demon’s Curse was born, and everything in my life somehow became so much brighter. I found my purpose, and for the first time, I felt a true love for not only music, but for these new people in my life.”
He goes on to explain their time together and how it shaped him to be the man he is today—someone who’s nothing but a stranger to me now.
His words are calming, and as his deep tone fills the church, I’m able to breathe easy for the first time since Madds pried me awake in tears.