Total pages in book: 35
Estimated words: 33327 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 167(@200wpm)___ 133(@250wpm)___ 111(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 33327 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 167(@200wpm)___ 133(@250wpm)___ 111(@300wpm)
She was so tired it was hard to focus, but she didn’t miss the fact that the mobile he turned on above her head had dancing orange tigers much like her favorite stuffed animal.
Sleep finally took her under.
Chapter Seven
Mindy’s new existence was odd and thrilling and confusing all at once. She loved letting herself live in a fulltime infant age space, even though “let” was probably not the right term. After all, she had no choice now.
She had no choices about anything. Every single detail of her life was determined by others. Doctors and nurses came and went from her nursery for the next two weeks, feeding and changing and rocking her.
She slept a lot and didn’t have much time to think or worry until she started going to the main nursery after a few weeks. It was there that she realized how many other Littles were living at the center. She became friends with several and played with them until each of them gradually left her when they got chosen and adopted by a Daddy.
It was hard for Mindy to keep her chin up and not get sad every time one of the other girls disappeared. She knew in theory she would see them again when she too was adopted by a Daddy and moved into the community behind The Nurturing Center.
But the days ticked by, and no one came for her. Some days were better than others. Some days she told herself it didn’t matter and she didn’t care. The staff was all very nice. She had frequent checkups with one of the doctors, and the head nurse in the main nursery, Eleanor, was so kind.
Mindy made friends with several girls, including a darkhaired girl named Jenny, a sweet redhead named Lily, and her bestest friend Annie who arrived at The Nurturing Center about the same time as Mindy. All of them had been adopted, leaving her saddened. Everyone reassured her the perfect forever caregiver for her would be there when the time was right.
Mindy knew she was part of the problem. When Daddies came to visit, she never made eye contact with them. She didn’t know why. She just didn’t want to. It was frustrating because if she didn’t try to put herself out there and show interest in anyone, how could she expect anyone to choose her?
The problem was she couldn’t visualize what her life would be like. She tried to picture herself living with a Daddy who doted on her and cared for her. Every time she pictured it, she felt an odd sense of boredom. It didn’t make her excited like the other Littles around her spoke of.
Something was wrong with her.
The only time she felt comfortable in her skin was when Tricia visited. It made no sense. Was it because she’d known Tricia before anyone else at The Center? Was it because the woman was always kind and encouraging?
Tricia couldn’t visit her often because she had to work. She didn’t work in this transitional main nursery. She worked in the daycare center where Littles living in the community went while their caregivers worked. It was in the same building but not where Mindy could see her.
It was nice having the support of the woman who had introduced her to this world, knowing she had a cheerleader she could count on, but sometimes when Tricia wasn’t around for longer than a day, Mindy felt lonely. Isolated. Outside of her body.
She watched the other Littles playing and laughing and meeting with caregivers as if she were floating above them, not really participating. She wanted what they had, and yet she also knew it was partly her fault she didn’t have the same thing.
She waited. And waited. The days ticked by. And then the weeks. When her best friend in the nursery, Annie, had been adopted by Nurse Theo, Mindy had really pulled into herself.
She was living in this weird funk when she woke up after her nap one afternoon to find that she’d slept much longer than usual in the middle of the main nursery. All the other Littles had returned to their own nurseries.
Mindy found herself seated in a bouncy seat surrounded by three serious faces: Nurse Kay, Dr. Farwell, and Eleanor. At first, she thought she was in trouble, and then her concern switched to her greatest fear of all—that she would be kicked out of the program because no one wanted her.
What she hadn’t expected was for the three of them to confront her with a possibility she had never considered.
They were kind and calm and caring, but they rocked her world when Nurse Kay met her gaze to say, “Your caregiver doesn’t have to be a Daddy. Have you ever considered that?”
Tears came to her eyes, not because the suggestion was abhorrent. It wasn’t. What consumed her was memories of her past. She was instantly flooded by her mother’s judgement of her. She remembered that day when she’d kissed Eva as if it were yesterday and nearly hyperventilated as the humiliation and abandonment wormed their way into her mind.