Total pages in book: 141
Estimated words: 141251 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 706(@200wpm)___ 565(@250wpm)___ 471(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 141251 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 706(@200wpm)___ 565(@250wpm)___ 471(@300wpm)
Her eyes hold mine. “You told me to protect myself from you.”
I sip my scotch, an intelligent reply escaping me.
“This is me doing that.”
“By going out with someone else?” I reply.
Her eyes hold mine. “I just want a friend I can rely on.”
“You can rely on me.”
“No, I can’t. You showed me that last night.”
“Last night was an exception.”
“Last night was our first date, for Christ’s sake.”
I clench my lips together so I don’t say anything to embarrass myself further. I’m not begging. I get a vision of her kissing someone else and I feel my temperature rise. I rub my hand through my stubble in frustration. Stop it! You don’t do monogamy.
What is this stupid fucking feeling?
Is this jealousy?
I bounce my leg under the table as I try to get a hold of my emotions.
Her eyes hold mine. “These barriers you put up.” I frown, not understanding.
“Why do you do it?”
I screw up my face. “You don’t even know what the fuck you’re talking about.”
“What are you protecting yourself from, Julian.”
I stand abruptly. “I’m not sitting here and listening to this psychobabble bullshit.” I shake my head in frustration. “I don’t need protecting. I’m happy having friends with benefits. Don’t twist this to be what you think I should want.”
“Are you?” She watches me intently. “Because you looked pretty pissed off when you thought I was going out with someone else tonight.”
“Because you are fucking dismissing me!” I yell. “I do not get dismissed. Nobody dismisses me!” I turn my back to her as my breath quivers. It’s been a long time since somebody got to me enough for me to lose my temper. I exhale heavily as I try to control my anger.
Walk away. Walk out of the room right now.
“Let me in and we can try again.”
I turn toward her. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You shut down on me. The other night, when we were in each other’s arms, we had this small window of intimacy and you immediately shut it down.”
“I did not.”
“Yes, you did, and the more I think about it, the more I think this is a behavior pattern for you. You don’t bring up certain topics with the children because you don’t want to give them the opportunity to ask hard questions.”
I turn toward her, our eyes locked.
“You protect yourself from them, too, Julian, whether you’re aware of it or not.”
My stomach drops at her insinuation. “That’s ridiculous.”
“Is it? Can you at least think about it after I leave?”
I stare at her, and I have to say it because it's eating me alive. "I don't want you to be with anybody else."
“What are you saying?”
I frown, knowing I need to say more, but I can’t make the words leave my mouth.
Her eyes search mine. “Do you really think I’m going to go out with another man when you hurting me is all I can think about?”
My face falls. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Bree.”
“Yet you did it anyway.”
I look to the floor, filled with shame.
“Maybe I need to learn how to work my own barriers,” she whispers.
I swallow the lump in my throat as my eyes rise to meet hers. “Do you have to go out?”
“Yes.”
Anger fills me and I glare at her. Dismissed again.
A car horn sounds outside. “My Uber is here.”
I exhale heavily.
She walks toward the door and turns back. “Just talk to me, Julian. Tell me what you want.”
I clench my jaw, and the strong urge to lash out and hurt her for leaving me takes over.
“I want a woman who isn’t needy.” I sneer.
Her sad eyes hold mine, and I want to kick myself the moment the words leave my lips.
Why did I say that? I drop my head, and then I hear the door shutting quietly behind her.
Brielle
I apply my lipstick and roll my lips in the mirror.
“Do you think I should wear the black dress or the grey?” Emerson asks, holding up the two dresses in front of her body.
I frown as I look between them. “The grey.”
I’m at Emerson’s place getting ready for our night out. I’m trying to push Julian out of my mind.
I want a woman who isn’t needy.
“I’m sorry I can’t go sightseeing tomorrow.” Em sighs. “I had no idea I had to work.”
“It’s okay, I’ll go and do something on my own. We can go next week.”
“So, Thomas, hey?” Emerson smiles. “He’s so funny. Honestly, I’m always laughing the whole time he’s around.”
“Yeah, he’s nice,” I agree.
"Well, at least he's a lot nicer than that foot wanking boss of yours." She tuts as she sits down beside me and begins to apply her mascara. "Please tell me that you're over this fascination with him?"
I watch her for a moment. I haven't told Em hardly anything that has happened between Julian and me. Why I'm not really sure.