Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 90708 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 454(@200wpm)___ 363(@250wpm)___ 302(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90708 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 454(@200wpm)___ 363(@250wpm)___ 302(@300wpm)
She shoved the wooden spoon into the curry and pushed past me. “Worse things have happened to me, Gabriel,” she said, her voice lifting slightly as if she were on the verge of actually expressing how she felt. “I can’t break down when I have a setback. If I did, I’d never pull myself together. And I’d certainly never be able to help Hollie if I was constantly getting angry and pissed off about how life was unfair. These things happen.”
“Just because worse things have happened—just because bad things happen—doesn’t mean you can’t feel things. It doesn’t mean you have to put on a smile and pretend everything’s okay. You can shout and cry and stamp your feet.”
“That’s not what I do,” she said, her eyes beginning to water. “If I give in to it and collapse, I don’t know if I can get back up.”
My heart squeezed. Here she was, trying to keep her chin up, when anyone else would have given in to devastation.
“Of course, you will. You’re strong and capable and independent. But you don’t have to be all those things all the time. And I’m here to give you a hand up, if you need it.” I pulled her into my arms, and she sank into me, boneless.
“I don’t know how to give in to it. I just . . . want to be happy.”
I wanted that for her too. “Even the sun brings shadows,” I said. “Nothing is all good, all the time. It’s in the shades of grey that we learn who we are.”
“I’ve always been the happy one. The one who pulls Hollie and me up and makes us believe we can get through.”
I’d always loved how sunny and positive Autumn was. How she always saw the silver lining in every cloud. I hadn’t realized until tonight that she’d cultivated that disposition because she’d faced so many impossible situations. It was a coping mechanism as much as it was a personality trait.
“Not all the time,” I said. “You can take turns.”
Her sobs were almost unnoticeable, but I held her tightly as she let out everything she’d been holding on to. I wanted to make it better for her—perhaps that was the example she set me—but there was nothing that could make it better. Not tonight. This evening was just going to be terrible. All I could do was hold her.
“I need wine,” she said eventually.
“That I can do,” I said, not letting her go as I shuffled us both toward her glass.
“I don’t know what to do,” she said, her voice wobbling. “Hollie is going to be so disappointed in me.”
“No,” I said, pulling her tighter. “She’s going to be disappointed for you. Not in you. You don’t need to concern yourself about that.”
“She’s going to worry.”
“She knows you better than that. There’s no need to worry.”
“There are always a thousand reasons to worry, Gabriel. And I don’t need to be one more.”
Thoughts started to slot into my brain and make sense, like the final pieces of a jigsaw. She was always so happy and upbeat because she didn’t want to be a burden. She didn’t want to be another item on anyone’s list of worries, especially not Hollie’s.
“Your sister loves you. She’s bound to worry sometimes. That’s natural and it’s okay. But that doesn’t mean you’re a burden.”
“She was the reason I had food in my belly and a roof over my head growing up.”
“But not anymore. You got your executive training position yourself. You’ll get another. And you know what? You are a capable, independent, creative woman. I would bet money that you took a chunk of the burden growing up. I’ve seen the way you organize this house. And Bethany—you saved her life, for goodness’ sake. And you even organize me.” I nodded to the candidates for the new nanny she’d shortlisted. “I can’t imagine you ever being a burden. You might have been younger, and you might have supported each other in different ways, but you were both in a very difficult situation. You both fought hard to survive.
“It’s okay for things not to be okay sometimes,” I said. “It’s okay to need help and it’s okay for people to give you help.” I kissed the top of her head. “I’m here to help where I can. Even if it’s to pour your wine. You will figure this out. I have no doubt.”
Her bottom lip wobbled, and she rested her head on my chest. “How do you know exactly the right thing to say?”
“Believe me, I learned what it is to need help and what it is to get it from five of the best friends a man can have.”
“Even Tristan?” she asked.
“Even him. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for any one of us. And vice versa. You have that with Hollie. It’s a two-way street.”