Total pages in book: 171
Estimated words: 164705 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164705 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
“You’ll have to jog my memory.”
“You advised Romeo to gift guests stock in his company, but since it’s our wedding, we can gift guests stock in the Grand Regent.”
“Right. Because champagne and Advil are too basic.”
“Exactly. Your ideas are genius. I won’t take credit for them. This next one, however, is all mine.” I hugged the binder to my chest. “Wait until you hear who I want to perform after the ceremony.”
Oliver patted the table for his cigar box and popped it open, tugging out a thick Cuban and flicking up his Zippo to light it.
I pulled my brows together, feigning concern. “Is everything okay?”
“Never been better. Why?”
“Because you lit your cigar the other way around.”
He spluttered out a cough, rotated the cigar, and lit it again.
“Anyway …” I rubbed my hands together. “Ready for the crown jewel?”
“Yes, darling.” Oliver puffed on his cigar, squinting at me. “I’m not sure how you could possibly top all these wonderful ideas, but I’m all ears.”
I had a feeling he was fantasizing about how to kill me a hundred different ways.
“The wedding will take place in …” I drum-rolled on the table, careful to scratch the wood with my cheap rings. “Nauru.”
I flung my arms wide with a smile.
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “Nauru?”
“Yes. I’ve never been. Have you?”
“No,” he said, “since the smallest island country in the Pacific Ocean requires a visitor’s visa, and there are only ten embassies in the entire world that grant them.”
“Unattainable things are so much more desirable, aren’t they?” I parked my chin over my fist, fixing dream-struck eyes on him. “I’m sure you taught me that.”
“Briar, you can only fly there through Brisbane, and a flight leaves once a week. Singular. It’s impossible to transport guests there.”
“You can’t spell impossible without the word possible.”
“You also can’t spell manslaughter without laughter.” He white knuckled his cigar so hard, it split down the middle. Crumbs of tobacco peppered the table. “What’s your point?”
“I think we can make it happen,” I said with confidence. “You once told me you could do anything you set your mind to.”
I didn’t understand why he was so flustered. It wasn’t like the wedding would ever take place.
“A friend of mine went to Nauru. Riggs Bates. He’s a Nat Geo photographer.” Oliver dunked his broken cigar in his spit-filled macchiato. “He said once he landed there, he had to hitchhike his way to his hotel.”
“What’s the problem? We’ll move in large groups. We’ll be safe.”
“The place doesn’t have any mass public transportation.”
“Amazing, right? They consume zero cubic feet of natural gas per capita. So environmentally conscious.” I shifted to the edge of my seat, practically vibrating. “I’m getting too excited about it.”
Oliver rolled his cigar from one side of the mug to the other, simply staring at me without saying a word. I think I’d gotten on his last nerve.
Good.
Time for the finale.
“The wedding will take place exactly a month from now, so mark your calendar.” I knocked my fist over his table. “Can you be a doll and send out the invitations?”
I stood up, rounded the table, and gathered his cheeks in my hands, squishing them like an annoying aunt.
Once I released him, he groaned. “On it. Who do you want to invite?”
“Oh, anyone you think I’d like to see there. You know I don’t have my memory anymore.”
With that, I started my way out of the kitchen. I had a lot of things to destroy and relatively little time to do it.
I also needed to pack.
“Hey, where are you going?” he called after me.
“To clean up your wardrobe.” I didn’t bother turning to face him. “I thought I saw a few old things in there you can give away to charity.”
He knew what was coming. I planned on emptying his entire closet.
I thought I heard Oliver moan that karma was a bitch before I ducked into the hall.
Yes, she is, hubs.
But I’m even worse.
Chapter Forty-Eight
Briar
Seb vB: Eating veggie sushi off Oliver’s bare chest for lunch?????? Gag.
Briar Auer: Ugh. You saw that?
Seb vB: That and the encore. I wish I snapped a pic of Oliver’s face when you informed him you adjusted all the clocks in the house because you don’t believe in Daylight Saving.
Briar Auer: God, your ears must’ve developed supersonic strength.
Seb vB: I see and hear everything from the window.
Briar Auer: Not creepy at all.
Seb vB: Don’t change the subject.
Seb vB: Are you still mad he interrupted your girls’ trip?
Briar Auer: Something like that.
Briar Auer: Blood must have blood.
Seb vB: Why stop at blood?
Chapter Forty-Nine
Oliver
Ollie vB: I think she is fucking with me.
Zach Sun: Can you be more specific? Every woman on Planet Earth screwed you at some point.
Ollie vB: Very funny, Mr. 30-something-year-old virgin.
Ever since we’d found out that Zach was a virgin when he met his wife, I’d been meticulous about reminding him of that every single minute of the day.