Total pages in book: 100
Estimated words: 95609 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 478(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 319(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95609 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 478(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 319(@300wpm)
He reaches out and picks up the bear, swiping it off the shelf in an angry gesture.
“Hey,” I begin.
“You have five minutes.” He walks out, carrying the bear with him.
What a jerk.
I’ve got the start of a headache from hell, and I still don’t know what to do. I’m lying to everyone in this house and it’s starting to get to me.
It might be time to leave.
But I take a deep breath and put on a smile because I can’t do a damn thing until I talk to Luca.
Chapter Fifteen
When the secret door opens it’s after midnight but I’m still dressed in the jeans and T-shirt I wore earlier for our house meeting. We all had to pretend to be surprised when Shelby walked through the door even though she’d been sitting in the kitchen most of the night, making way too loud comments on everyone in the house.
Ah, the joys of “reality” TV.
He smiles as he enters, his tablet in one hand. The door snicks closed behind him, but I can’t forget the fact that Hans is out there. We’re not ever really alone. “Good evening, Anika. I can’t tell you how happy I am to be done with this day. I’ve spent hours waiting for them to let me know filming was done.”
“I’m going to leave in the morning.” There’s nothing else to do but tell him. Be blunt and confident in my decision. Leave no room for debate.
Even though the debate is raging inside me. I’m not confident. I don’t know what I want, and that’s what’s truly killing me.
His handsome face falls and he sets the tablet down, moving into my space. “What’s gone wrong, Schatz? They said you had a house meeting. Did it go poorly?”
He can’t understand how poorly it went. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep lying to them.”
He seems surprised to hear those words. “You’re not lying to anyone.”
I’ve been thinking about this all night, guilt weighing me down. “They all think they have a chance with you.”
“My darling, I had a frank discussion with Shelby this evening, and she understands that I’m focused on one woman and it’s not her. She doesn’t know who it is, but she knows I’m only keeping her around because the producers asked me to. She’s under no illusions about her chances.”
Wow. No wonder Shelby had been particularly nasty this evening, despite the fact that all she would say was her date had been phenomenal. “Luca, you’re not supposed to do that.”
He shrugs. “I don’t care. I would rather be honest. We’re making an entertaining show. That’s what I’ve concluded. Very few of the women who came on the show honestly believe they can find true love here.”
“Hannah does,” I point out.
I kind of do, too, but I’m not saying that to him. I would have said no, that’s some silly talk right there a few weeks ago, but the truth of the matter is I’m falling hard for a man I can’t have for so many reasons. I’m anxious and feeling like crap because no matter what kind of show we’re making, the truth of the matter is we’re lying because he’s already decided the outcome.
“Hannah is smarter than you think she is.” Luca is watching me with patient eyes.
That bugs me, too. He’s watching me like this is all some part of my performance and if he waits long enough we’ll get to a better part of the script. “She’s going to get hurt when she realizes you never seriously considered her.”
“Who says I didn’t?”
I stare at him.
He shrugs. “How will anyone know that you are the only woman I want? I’ll tell you something, Anika. I’m not talking just about this group of women. How will anyone ever know that you’re the only woman I’ve wanted to spend time with in a romantic fashion in over a year? It’s not that I don’t like women. I do. More than half my advisers are women.”
I snort at that thought. “And they let you do this?”
A single shoulder shrugs. “They all thought this was a terrible idea. But that’s not the point. I want you to understand. The person I spend the most time with from my family is my cousin, Ella, who you’ll meet when we go to Ralavia for the final ceremony.”
I shake my head but he continues on anyway.
“What I’m trying to say is I’ve felt numb inside since my parents died. I’ve been in a dark place, and it was meeting you that seems to be bringing me out of it. I’m not willing to let you go. Tell me what’s gone wrong and I’ll fix it.”
He’s getting to me. “I told you. I don’t like lying.”
“You’re not lying,” he assures me. “If anyone’s lying it’s me, and I’ll take that sin on myself. You don’t have anything to worry about. Let me pick you for the one-on-one date this weekend. I don’t want to spend another long evening with one of the others.”