Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 104037 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 520(@200wpm)___ 416(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104037 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 520(@200wpm)___ 416(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
I just hadn’t realized how far I’d distanced myself until now. I’ve been here physically, but even I know I haven’t been myself. Reaching over, I squeeze his shoulder. “I missed you too, man.”
Bonding may not have been on the agenda today, but here we are, doing it anyway. He shrugs. “I’m eating now.”
“Dig in,” I reply, finally letting myself laugh. When I return my gaze to my sister, we don’t have to use words to read each other’s minds. Guess we do share a twin telepathy, after all.
I changed when Poppy didn’t show up. Felt like I had nothing left to lose.
My chemistry was rearranged.
My soul was left so twisted that it was unrecognizable even to me.
My passion for things I loved was quelled when I realized that they don’t matter at the end of the day. Love does, and it royally fucked me over. I’ll never put myself out there like that again.
Being miserable doesn’t sound like much fun. Shit. Maybe I do have a few things to work through.
I like the solitude at Deer Lake. And if everything else is handled, that makes it easy. I’ll show up with my guitar and suitcase and spend a week clearing my head. Maybe I’ll even be inspired to create a song again.
Nah. That part of me died in that diner that day. But getting out of LA might do me some good. “I’ll go to Deer Lake and get back on track. We’ve worked too hard as a band not to be one hundred percent committed to making the best album we can. And we’re not losing this tour. You can count on me.”
Nikki finally picks up her chopsticks with a big smile planted on her face. It’s good to see her happy again. “I’ll set everything up for you. Food. Cleaning. Whatever you need.”
Looking back and forth between them and seeing the damage I’ve done by disappearing into my own head, I know what I need to do to make things right. Not just because they’re threatening me, but for me to be my best on the album, for the tour, and for my bandmates. “Getting out of LA will be good.”
Nikki smiles with victory reflected in it. “Enjoy the fresh air, go hiking, and get some sunshine. You’re too pale these days.”
I need to get back to surfing. The ocean was my therapist, my solace, the place where I could drown out the world and get back to what matters. I have the ocean at my back doorstep, though. Being in the mountains will be a nice change. And if time alone in the woods is my punishment, I’ll choose this vacation without complaint. I’m even starting to look forward to it.
No interruptions.
No interactions.
Nothing but me and my guitars.
Sounds like heaven.
5
Laird
The late-day sun shines like diamonds off the choppy surface of the lake.
A breeze catches me as soon as I get out of the car. I grin when I see the cabin, looking forward to the next week more than I realize. It’s been a few years, but I still have fond memories of the summers I spent here with my family.
I open the back, already breathing easier just being here. Nothing like being surrounded by nature to knock you back into your place in the universe. I’m starting to think fame went to my head without realizing it.
Refusing to make two trips to the car, I load up my arms and lug everything to the front door before dropping it, except my guitars of course. Those get special treatment. I set them inside the door and then look at the other stuff I brought, scratching my head. Nikki said everything was set up, from food to laundry, so why’d I pack this much? It looks like I’m going on tour, not to the mountains for a week.
I get everything inside and then stop to look around. It’s not a typical “cabin.” There are modern amenities—a top-of-the-line kitchen with two ovens—high ceilings, and clean lines. Somehow, my mom managed to keep it cozy and updated.
The place sits empty for half the year, so I expected a hint of must. It smells fresh instead, making me think someone was, or is, here to prepare it for my arrival.
As I move through with my bag in hand, I look around for signs of life just in case they’re still here. “Hello?” After dropping my bag in the primary bedroom, I work my way to the back of the house and look around. “Hello?”
I’m met with silence. Unsure if I like it or not, I shake my head. I’m not ready to be alone with my thoughts. Not yet. I return to the living room and connect my phone to the speakers.
Though I’m typically not a jazz guy, it feels fitting for the quiet surroundings and the last hour before sunset. Hungry and ready for a beer, I go to the fridge to discover it’s been stocked, just as promised. “Thank youuu, little sis.”