Total pages in book: 153
Estimated words: 144571 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 723(@200wpm)___ 578(@250wpm)___ 482(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 144571 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 723(@200wpm)___ 578(@250wpm)___ 482(@300wpm)
“I think we should have sex.” It was always best to be plain.
Cooper stood up so fast she nearly fell back. “Kala, we’re fifteen.”
She shrugged. She didn’t feel like she was fifteen. Given the profession she intended to go into, she might be middle aged. Of course, her father always said she’d been born forty years old, with a taste for Scotch and violence and a bitterness he admired. “Age is just a number.”
A laugh huffed from Cooper’s chest. “Yeah, well, I don’t think your dad would agree, and I also don’t think he would hesitate to murder me.”
This was not going the way she thought it would. “He won’t know about the sex. I can deal with my father. He’s not as bad as he seems to be. And we’ll be careful. I got a couple of condoms. My parents are super open about sex. He knows how much I care about you. It won’t come as some shock that we’re dating.”
“Dating?” Cooper said the word like he’d never heard it before.
He was obtuse tonight. “Yeah. What do you call what we’ve been doing for the last three months? Every Saturday night.”
He seemed to think about his answer. “I don’t know. Hanging out. Playing some games.”
A pit opened in her gut. Maybe he’d been playing a game and she hadn’t realized it. “Hanging out?”
“Kala, I care about you, too,” he said, his tone low. “You know I do. You know I think you’re gorgeous and funny, and I love the time we spend together, but…”
The breeze had seemed warm a moment before, but now it held a hint of a chill. That “but” was going to change everything. That “but” was going to break her fucking heart.
He hesitated, so she helped him out. It was what friends did for each other. “But I’m a lot, right? I’m a righteous bitch and everyone hates me.”
He frowned. “I didn’t say that.”
“You don’t have to,” she replied, already feeling her armor slide into place. It was sad. She’d come to look forward to spending these nights with him because she didn’t have to wear it. Somedays it seemed so heavy. “I have a question for you. What exactly did you think we were building up to with all the late-night make-out sessions?”
He paced, taking five steps to the edge of the pool and then back to the lounger. “I didn’t think we were building up to anything. Not now. We’re still really young. I know I’m supposed to do anything for sex, but I’m not ready, Kala. You’re talking about an adult relationship, and it comes with a lot of responsibility neither one of us is ready for.”
Ugh, she could hear his mom talking. Sometimes she thought life would be easier if Cooper’s mom had been a criminal like her own. Charlotte Taggart didn’t overanalyze every emotion she had. Dr. Eve McKay, well, emotional analysis was her job, and she’d passed the obnoxious behavior on to her son. “Or you don’t want me.”
He stopped and stared at her. “Of course I do. Kala, you know you’re gorgeous.”
Did she? Sure, her outer lining was physically attractive, but then she opened her mouth. Then she showed who she was on the inside, and it wasn’t pretty.
Would Cooper prefer her sister? Kenzie had all Kala’s outer beauty and not so much of her darkness. Kenzie wouldn’t have lost her shit on a guy playing baseball. She would have checked to make sure Coop was okay and then moved on with her day.
“I just… I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to take this any further than we do now. We have time. All the time in the world. I like our Saturdays. We don’t have to screw things up by being traditional. How about I make us some sandwiches and we play games and enjoy the rest of the night and pretend this whole talk didn’t happen? But you need to chill or I’ll have to ask you not to come to my practices. Okay?”
A weird numbness settled over her. It wasn’t anger. She knew anger and it wasn’t this.
This was her heart breaking.
He didn’t love her. He couldn’t. He didn’t want her. She wasn’t sure why he welcomed her every Saturday. Maybe he was scared of what she might do. She could be intense, and she was excellent at revenge. So fear could be the reason. Maybe he also liked making out and she was easy.
She’d been so sure of him. So certain that even when the rest of the world sucked, he was her safe place. It hadn’t mattered if everyone besides her family and her best friend Lou thought she was a psychopath, as long as Coop was there.
But he wasn’t there. Not really.
She thought about what he’d said before. His words hit different once she knew the truth.