Total pages in book: 122
Estimated words: 115590 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 578(@200wpm)___ 462(@250wpm)___ 385(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 115590 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 578(@200wpm)___ 462(@250wpm)___ 385(@300wpm)
His chin dropped to his chest, one hand rubbing over the back of his neck. I couldn’t do this. Not again. I hurried past his bike to the trailer, then slammed the door.
The engine to his motorcycle rumbled to life a few seconds later, the noise vibrating through the aluminum windows before it faded.
Jonathan stood in the kitchen with my mother, a frown on his face. “Moe Bear…”
“I uh, I need to get back to school. I forgot I have a paper to turn in.”
He nodded. “I’ll go pack my things.”
42
Zepp
She thought I had left her when all I was trying to do was save her. Going to Monroe’s house had been the worst thing I could have done. I hadn’t even tried to fool myself into thinking that I was over her, but I never expected it to hurt that much. I underestimated how shitty it would feel to be that close to her and not be able to hold her.
I sat in the living room crowded with people, but I couldn’t focus on anything but Monroe. Hendrix popped me on the back of the head before he yanked his shirt off, screaming, “It’s my birthday!”
One of the strippers Wolf had hired for the party pranced over, shoving her tits in his face while he motorboated them. And there came another thought of Monroe, of how men used to do that shit with her. Ten months later and my blood still boiled from that thought.
Wolf leaned in beside me, laughing. “Dude. Those chicks are all over each other.”
I didn’t even bother to look. I finished off my beer, then went to push up from the couch, but one of the topless girls latched onto my shoulders, pushing me right back down. “Wanna dance?”
“No.” I went to stand up again, but she shoved me into the seat and straddled my lap.
“You look so angry.” She leaned in by my ear. “I’m sure I could loosen you up.”
I pressed back against the sofa, closing my eyes when her bare tits rubbed against my shirt. The last time I had fucked was the last time I had fucked Monroe, and that had almost been a year. I should have enjoyed this, but I hated every second of it. All it did was remind me that I didn’t have her—of how much I wanted her.
The girl pressed her lips to my neck, and I pushed her off, then got up.
“Dude,” Wolf cackled, grabbing the girl by the waist and yanking her into his lap. “She would have fucked you.” He glanced at her. “Right? You would have fucked him?”
She wrapped her arms around Wolf’s neck, eyeing me up and down. “Totally.”
Scrubbing a hand over my face, I walked off to the kitchen and grabbed a drink. Ten months in that shitshow of a jail had given me ample time to think about shit. Time had never passed more slowly than it had in there. Sleep. Eat. Go to the yard. Study. That was it. None of Hendrix’s stupid metaphors or Wolf’s rooftop. No Monroe.
Out of all the things I had missed the most. It had been that girl. I thought I had done what was best—loved her enough to let her go, given her a chance to get out of Dayton, but the look on her face last week when I went to her mom’s trailer… I couldn’t help but wonder if I had hurt her more than I had saved her. I had never wanted to leave her; I had only wanted her to leave me.
Because she deserved so much better than me. Thoughts went around and around in my head, guilt eating me up at the idea that I had hurt her. I couldn’t take it anymore. I typed out a text, sending it to the number I had in my phone, not even sure if it still worked.
Me: I never meant to hurt you
Monroe: I hate you
I paced the kitchen because that was not the answer I wanted. At one time, she had loved me, and if she hated me, that meant I had hurt her. A person can only hate something they wanted to love.
Me: We need to talk
But the message didn’t go through. Not delivered. I tried again and again. And when I attempted to call her, it didn’t connect. Shit, had she blocked me?
I tossed my drink into the trash and snatched my keys from the counter before heading through the living room. “Hey, Wolf.”
He had the stripper’s nipple in his mouth, one hand palming her other tit.
I kicked at his shin, and he glanced up with a scowl. “Where does Monroe live?” I asked.
“Dude, I don’t know.”
“You said she lives with Jade. I know you know.” He and Jade had this weird on-again, off-again fuck buddy thing going on.