Total pages in book: 44
Estimated words: 41351 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 207(@200wpm)___ 165(@250wpm)___ 138(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 41351 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 207(@200wpm)___ 165(@250wpm)___ 138(@300wpm)
A tear slid down her cheek. “It hurt so bad. I was so angry about everything. I believed what I thought I saw and I did blame you for the baby because you couldn’t have possibly known what it was like to carry a life and have its heart beating under yours and then lose it. She was fully formed and small and helpless and dead. I’d dream about her and I’d hate you because you could never understand how I felt.”
“Riley, I may not have understood what it was like to carry a child but she was still mine and I hurt too. You pushed me away. You wouldn’t allow me to hold you or comfort you. And then one day it like something switched on in your head. You only wanted sex to replace her and I didn’t want to cheapen her memory or our marriage having sex in such a cold and calculating way. It wasn’t us but I couldn’t seem to make you understand that. You thought it was because I didn’t love you. I refused to have sex with you under those circumstances because I loved you too much.”
The tears now ran down her cheeks unheeded. She didn’t realize he’d felt that way. She’d been so ensconced in her own grief that she hadn’t recognized Ethan’s pain. “After all these years, I realized I’d contributed to the breakdown of our marriage but I didn’t realize how much. I guess I didn’t help matter by constantly involving my family in our problems either?”
“It didn’t help and it was frustrating as hell, but you were young and I should have waited for you like common sense told me to, but I loved you so much I couldn’t see you with anyone else. Call me greedy or selfish but I had to have you.”
The events at that particular family dinner and her mother’s words came reeling back to her. “My mother said something about tickets. What was she talking about?”
Ethan squeezed his eyes shut and groaned. “You never got the ticket?”
“I don’t know what ticket you’re talking about. A couple weeks ago I had dinner at my mom’s house. She was in really bad shape. My dad had served her with divorce papers and she didn’t take it well. She basically had a meltdown and just went off at everyone. She said something about being glad she ripped up a ticket. She said she did it for my own good.”
“That explains it.” He sighed as he stroked her back. “Riley, when you served me with divorce papers I nearly had a mental break down. I was stressed over my workload and still grieving on the loss of our daughter and the problems in our marriage. I had to take a leave of absence.”
“I didn’t know. Megan said you were broken up over the divorce, but she didn’t elaborate why.”
“It was one of the darkest times in my life. I love you with all my heart and I was broken when I got those papers. I was angry and hurt and just mentally exhausted, I couldn’t face you. In retrospect, if I could do it again, I would have handled the situation differently. I would have demanded we talk but I was hoping that maybe you’d see me on neutral ground. I went to the place where we’d both been so happy. And I sent you a plane ticket hoping you’d join me to work things out but you never came and there was my answer.”
“A ticket to where?”
“Our honeymoon spot.”
“Maui?”
“Yeah.”
“I didn’t know. I wonder how my mother got hold of the ticket. I didn’t— Oh God. Shortly after you left, Mom would come around the house quite often. She must have gone through my mail and seen the ticket. Ethan, I’m so sorry.” She burst into tears. All these years she’d blamed him for the way things had gone down in their marriage when she should have looked to herself.
Ethan tightened his arms around her. “Don’t cry, kitten. Everything happened for a reason. After the divorce was finalized, I licked my wounds by throwing myself into my work. I eventually made partner but it meant nothing without you. Being away from you made me appreciate how much I love you. But it also gave you the chance to grow into your own woman. When Megan told me she’d reconnected with you it was like a divine intervention. I finally saw my opportunity to get back into your life. It’s what I always intended. You are my wife and I never stopped loving you. There have been no other women after you.”
Riley widened her eyes in surprise. Ethan was the total package, good looking, smart, oozing sex appeal. “Do you mean to tell me you never dated or been intimate with another woman?”