Total pages in book: 154
Estimated words: 145091 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 725(@200wpm)___ 580(@250wpm)___ 484(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 145091 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 725(@200wpm)___ 580(@250wpm)___ 484(@300wpm)
She would be right here and Drake would be here, and there wouldn’t be the pain of that betrayal between them.
Had it truly been a betrayal?
Kim sat back with a long sigh. “I don’t know. In some ways we needed that time. Beck changed a lot in those years. He got help with his anger issues. I’m not sure he would have gotten that therapy had I been there. But my son missed years with his father, so I don’t know.”
“The question is meaningless,” Sandra said. “If there’s one thing I have learned in my many years of life, it’s that you can’t go back. There is only one way and that is forward. I lost a daughter to people very much like the ones you’re hunting now. I still feel that loss every minute of the day. It’s a hole that will not be filled until the time comes when I can see her again. Her father was an abusive shithole of a human being. I can’t go back and fix those things. I can only try to make something of what I was given. I can try to help other women who were in that same situation. I can spread the love I have around.”
Kim’s lips quirked up. “You did that. A lot. In so many places.”
Sandra’s laughter filled the room, a light, joyful sound. “I sure did, and I had a good time doing it. And I got something beautiful this time. I got a wife and amazing daughter and grandkids. I got friends and yes, I got Tucker, but I wouldn’t give him back, either. All I’m saying is don’t spend your time looking to the past. The answers aren’t there. The truth is there are no answers. There’s only how we feel and who we love.”
Sandra was getting to her. “What if who we love isn’t worthy of our love?”
“Are we pretending to talk about general life things? Or are you going to be brave and name your problem,” Sandra challenged.
“Drake.” She hadn’t grown up with a group of women who advised her. It was weird to be talking to her lover’s ex, but she was going with it. “I don’t know that Drake is worth the pain that will inevitably come.”
“Why is the pain inevitable?” Sandra asked.
“Because it can’t work out. Even if I decide to forgive him for taking me to bed under false pretenses, even if everything goes well with us, I’m going undercover and I won’t be able to see him for a long time,” Taylor replied.
“First, you have no idea how long this job will take or if it will work out at all,” Kim countered. “When was the last time you heard from your Consortium contact?”
This was the thing that kept her up at night. Not the only thing, but it was certainly there. “She was supposed to contact me three days ago.”
Kim nodded. “Which means she’s either late or she got what she wanted from you and she’s walking away. So there might not be a mission at all. If there isn’t, what will you do?”
She had zero idea how to answer that question. Her whole life had revolved around this op for so long she had no idea what to do if it didn’t happen. If it never happened. “I guess I would try again. I would start from scratch and try to find another way in.”
“Well, Drake could help you this time.” Sandra poured a margarita and slid it Taylor’s way. “You might be working with him closely in that case. Or you could take it as a sign and find a life outside the Agency. I could use a good waitress.”
Kim’s eyes rolled. “She is not waitressing, but Sandra does bring up a point. What do you want to do with your life when this op is over?”
Again, not something she’d thought about. “I’ll figure it out when I get to it.”
Sandra sent Kim a knowing look. “You were right.”
“Right?” She wasn’t sure what they were talking about. They seemed to have a silent conversation between them through raised brows and knowing looks. “What was she right about? Also, I’m not sure we should be drinking. I’ve still got work to do.”
Kim picked up hers. “You did all your work, and you’re getting on a plane in a couple of days. Best to take a break. As to what I was right about, well, I was right about you.”
“You see, I thought you were one of those agents who takes herself way too seriously.” Sandra took a sip of her drink. “Like Brad.”
“I am not like Brad.” Though she was starting to appreciate the man’s serious work ethic. When she needed something, Brad worked hard to get it for her. He was a little stuffy for her taste, though.