Not Today Bossman – Bad Dog Novel Read Online Lili Valente

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Funny Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 66767 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 334(@200wpm)___ 267(@250wpm)___ 223(@300wpm)
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I wish her luck and head inside to catch Keanu mid-stream just inside the door. But this time, he’s peeing on the small fern I placed by the shelf where we leave our shoes, instead of the shoes themselves. “Good job, buddy,” I say, earning a metallic bark from the dog as he finishes up and wags his tail my way. “Let’s go get you a treat.”

He follows me into the kitchen, where Barrett is cleaning up the breakfast mess we left behind when we went for out walk. He arches a brow, “What did he do to earn a treat?”

“He peed in the fern, not our shoes,” I say.

Barrett smiles. “Good boy, Keanu. Come get a baby carrot.” He fetches the treat from the fridge and tosses it to the dog, who snatches it in his teeth and carries it over to the rug by the fireplace where he likes to devour his treats in private.

When he’s done, he promptly collapses on his side and begins to snore.

I yawn and smile. “I think he has the right idea. Nap time.”

“I’ll set the alarm for four hours,” Barrett says, tossing the dish towel beside the sink. “That should give us plenty of time to get dressed for the ball.”

“Four hours is a very long nap,” I say, taking his hand and letting him lead the way down the hall.

He glances back at me, heat in his eyes. “We won’t be napping the entire time.”

I grin. “Oh. Good. Shower sex is great, but I prefer you in a bed. I’m just an old-fashioned girl, I guess.”

“You’re the best girl,” he says, drawing me inside and shutting the bedroom door behind us. And then he proves it.

Afterwards, I drift to sleep in his arms, feeling like I’m exactly where I belong.

Chapter Twenty-Five

BARRETT

Four Months Later…

I turn from the hallway mirror, where I’m doing my best to straighten my bow

tie, to see Wren’s “surprise.”

Sadly, it isn’t the red dress with the cleavage, I was hoping for.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” I glance down at the basket she’s holding where a grinning Keanu Reeves sits dressed in a tiny tuxedo complete with sparkly red bow tie and some kind of red fur dye on the tips of his ears.

Wren beams. “No, I’m not kidding. I’m a genius. He doesn’t freak out in the basket! It’s the carrier he hates, not car rides. I did a test run this morning while you were at the hospital. There was nary a whimper, groan, nor death rattle and he stayed in the basket the whole time like a very good boy.”

Keanu death rattles and wags his tail, clearly agreeing that he is, in fact, a very good boy, despite the fact that he’s been peeing on our produce boxes on the porch all summer.

“The basket is fine. This outfit on the other hand…” I drag my gaze down to the glittering red buttons on the front of the shirt. “He looks like a hairy little Dracula. With extra fangs.”

“He does not!” Wren cradles the basket closer. “He looks handsome.” She strokes his beastly little head. “And what else is he supposed to wear? It’s a formal wedding and this is his only formal attire.”

“He could wear nothing. He’s a dog. Naked is acceptable for dogs. Or he can stay in the laundry room while we’re gone and contemplate why he enjoys peeing on cucumbers so much.”

Wren’s jaw drops. “And disappoint all his fans at the reception? No way. Not to mention Sarah Beth’s been looking forward to going over his DNA report all week. I think she might end up becoming a scientist. If the professional roller skating doesn’t work out.”

“She’s going to be disappointed in the results,” I warn.

Wren waves a dismissive hand. “She won’t be disappointed. She’ll be intrigued. Like I am. How can dog DNA results end up ‘inconclusive?’ That’s unheard of. And, as far as I can tell, there’s only one explanation.”

I eye Keanu’s still very cat like claws as he digs them into the edge of the basket, seeming to enjoy the crackling sound it makes. “He’s a science experiment gone wrong?”

Her eyes light up. “I was thinking an alien whose spaceship recently crash landed on Earth, but you could be right. I’ll tell Sarah Beth that we’ll have to look into lab escapes in the area.” She cocks her head to one side before adding in a softer voice, “You don’t really hate it, do you? I worked hard on his ears. And I made the buttons myself.”

“Of course, I don’t hate it,” I say, my heart melting the way it does every time she uses her soft, sexy, “you still love me the very most of all, right?” voice. Because I do love her the very most of all. The past four months have been the best of my life. I can’t imagine things getting any better.


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