Total pages in book: 63
Estimated words: 60234 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 301(@200wpm)___ 241(@250wpm)___ 201(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60234 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 301(@200wpm)___ 241(@250wpm)___ 201(@300wpm)
Nova holds me close, devouring my mouth desperately, like his kisses can erase everything and make me forget.
Damn, it almost works.
But his hands are on my head, on the bandana covering where my hair used to be, and it’s like a slap to my face, reminding me why I have to leave. I pull back with tears in my eyes. “I can’t stay, Nova. Ghost and the Devils won’t stop. They’ll kill me.”
“Maggie.” He reaches for me but I step back, shaking my head.
“You know it’s true. They won’t quit and Ghost will kill you, your brothers, even your ladies just for getting between them and payback. I can’t stay and you won’t leave.”
It’s like a fucked up country song, but sadder ‘cause this is my shitty life.
“I can’t,” he insists.
“You won’t,” I shoot back, understanding ‘cause I’m not angry any more. Just so damn sad I can barely breathe.
“Adios, Nova.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Nova
All these years I thought that nothing in this world could hurt more than the dozens, maybe hundreds, of men and women I lost on my watch. I thought nothing could torture me more than being unable to sleep to focus because of the faces that wouldn’t give me a moment of peace. I thought my parents abandoning me, my brain betraying me, was the worst of it for me. It was shit, but if that was the worst of it, I could deal with it.
But nothing prepared me for Maggie.
Having her.
Wanting her.
Losing her.
“Another shot, Trudy!”
I bang my palm against the bar to get her attention as I slide the glass toward the edge of the bar.
Trudy stands on the other side of the bar, hands on her hips, her brows arched. “You haven’t had enough?”
“Not nearly enough,” I growl and wiggle the empty glass to remind her of her duty.
“Drinkin’ only makes you forget for a little while,” she says as she refills my shot glass with tequila and then pulls me a fresh beer. “The bad shit always comes back,” she says gently before walking back to the other end of the bar to hang with a few of the club whores talking and drinking.
Everyone around me is so fucking happy and in love, and jealous bastard that I am, I hate it. I envy it. My brothers are all around the room wearing smiles, drinking, and each has an arm wrapped around the woman they love. They’re happy. At peace. Living in fucking bliss, and what do I have?
Jack fucking shit, that’s what.
Trudy is right. I know that, but right now, the only thing I want to do is drink away my fucking sorrows. I was so close to having it all, just like Ace and Dix, Shades, Lucky and Banger. So fucking close to having a good life with my brothers that allows me to practice medicine, do good for the community, and do it all with my woman by my side.
For one pathetic moment, I even thought I might have a decent relationship with my parents again.
But it’s all bullshit.
My mom’s still a judgmental bitch, and my dad has cancer.
Fuck. I ignore the pain banging against my chest and knock back the shot, chasing it down with a strong beer until the edges of my vision blur, but in a good way this time. Yeah, the alcohol is finally sinking into my blood, fogging up my mind so it doesn’t hurt so fucking much.
Fuck Maggie. She’s leaving me. I’m not good enough for her. All the work I’ve done to help myself. I even thought about making things right with my parents.
Fuck my parents.
“Fuck the whole goddamn world,” I growl and finish my beer before stomping out of the clubhouse. The music fades, not that I was listening to it anyway, and I gear up and jump on my bike as anger and alcohol pump through my veins.
That fury fuels me and leads me to L.A., where the Bloodthirsty Devils roam.
These motherfuckers are the reason Maggie is leaving me, and they need to fucking pay. Hell, they’re the reason I met her and fell for her in the first fucking place. If they’d taken care of her, treated her right. If they knew what the fuck loyalty meant, I never would have met her.
I’d be happy with my lot in life, limited though it might be at the moment. I might not have started wishing for more than I have, more than I deserve.
I think about what I’d like to do to those bastards, especially Ghost. He’s an opportunistic asshole.
I’d really like to take everything away from him, one person at a time. One stash house, one whore, one gun at a time, make him watch as everything he loves, every fucking thing that matters to him is taken away. And when that is done, I’ll take my time with Ghost himself.