Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 81009 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 405(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81009 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 405(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
Salem let go of my hand and went to her side. The sway of her long black hair brushing against her back, hitting just above her narrow waist, gave me something to focus on besides my mother dying in the bed.
When Salem’s hand touched Mom’s, her eyes opened, and she smiled.
“Aren’t you a sight?” Mom said in a weak voice. “Just get lovelier every day.”
Salem sat down in the chair I’d been in all night, holding Mom’s hand. “Vanna Rey, flattery will get you everywhere,” she teased, bringing a laugh from Mom’s dry lips.
“I’m glad you came,” she told Salem, her eyes saying things I didn’t want to hear. That I couldn’t accept. Not yet.
“Where else would I be?” Salem asked, the emotion heavy in her voice, although she was trying to keep it light.
“Oh,” Mom said, “setting the art world on its ear with your gift perhaps.”
Salem let out a chuckle. “I’m just trying to get through Professor Gildon’s Digital Communication’s class. You know I am terrible with technology.”
Mom’s smile widened. “Born in the wrong century.” She told her that often.
Salem sighed. “You just think that because I can sing more ’80s rock songs than you can.”
More laughter from Momma.
Seeing her eyes lighten with amusement lessened the tightness in my chest. Salem was good for her. Hell, she was good for me. She was the fucking sunshine, and when she walked into your world, she brightened up areas you hadn’t even known were dark.
“I’m going, Salem.” Mom’s words took on a serious tone that I didn’t want to hear. “And I want you to promise me one thing.”
Salem didn’t speak; she just nodded. I knew she was fighting back tears.
Mom picked Salem’s hand up and placed it between both of hers. “Share your gift. Live the life it can bring you. Live your dream. Chase it. You deserve it. My body might have failed me, but just because it’s leaving doesn’t mean I am. I’ve got you two to watch as you find your way in this world. I’ll be there, even though you can’t see me cheering you on. So, give me something to cheer for.”
Salem’s shoulders shook. She nodded as a sob escaped, and her free hand flew up to her mouth to muffle it.
“It’s okay to cry, honey. It’s our way of releasing the sadness and pain so that we can find our peace again.”
Salem pressed her forehead to Mom’s hands that held hers, and I watched as her body shook and the tears fell. Momma raised her eyes to me. Unable to watch Salem any longer, her pain an echo of my own, I went to stand behind her and placed my hand on her back. My touch seemed to slowly calm her, and we were all silent while she regained composure.
Finally, she lifted her head and wiped her tear-streaked face. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I need to go get a tissue.”
Momma nodded, and Salem stood up to leave the room. I watched her go, torn between wanting to follow her to make sure she was okay, to comfort her and hold her, and staying, for fear of leaving Mom. What if I walked out again and she left this world before I could return?
“Come here,” Mom said, holding her hand out to me.
The lump in my throat was the size of a basketball. Panic and fear came roaring to the front of all the different emotions battling inside me. I felt like a little boy again. Staring down at my mother, terrified every breath she took could be her last.
Sinking down into the chair that Salem had just left, I grabbed her hand and held it in both of mine, the same way she had held Salem’s. It was cold and thin.
“If you love her, you will let her go,” Mom said firmly. “She adores you, and I know you love that girl. But, son, her life is on a different path—one you don’t want to follow—and she will leave all her dreams behind for you. She’ll change everything for you. She needs to be free to chase those dreams.”
The way my mom hadn’t gotten to do. My father had knocked her up, and I’d flipped her life upside down. She said she loved me and wouldn’t change a thing, but I knew I had held her back. My entrance into the world had ended all her plans.
“I don’t…” I said, swallowing hard. “I don’t think I can live without her, Momma.”
She smiled at me. “You are a strong, smart, independent man. And Salem is your first love. Those are the ones that prepare us for the future loves, the heartaches to come, and later on down the road, if we are lucky, we get the one who was meant for us. Some go forever without that. Some find their joy in their jobs and”—she turned her hand, palm up, inside mine and gave me a weak squeeze—“some find it in their children.”