Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 90075 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 450(@200wpm)___ 360(@250wpm)___ 300(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90075 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 450(@200wpm)___ 360(@250wpm)___ 300(@300wpm)
He panted hard, anger and surrender tainting his voice. “I’ve known every day you go to work and every night you cry out in the dark. I think I’ve known my entire life that I belong to you, searching for you through death and grief, so afraid of finding you because then I’d have to make a choice. A choice you forced me to make by showing me how much it hurts to lose you...all while you’re still mine to lose.”
Hunter’s advice flashed through my head.
A mirror image of Nick’s confession.
My heart glowed with gratitude; my eyes stung with fresh tears.
“I love you, Nick. Even when you were nasty, I sensed something was there. I told myself it was just a silly little crush...but I think I’ve always known you were mine—asshole and all.”
“Fuck,” he choked. “You shouldn’t say things like that. Especially when I can’t keep you.”
“You can keep me. You will keep me.” My voice hardened with certainty. “I’m yours.”
“And Christ, that turns me on.” He ground his erection into my lower belly. “Even though I should never have claimed you, I can’t seem to let you go.”
I gasped as heat blistered between us.
But it was more than just that. It wasn’t just lust...it was more.
More connection.
More truth.
More everything.
I wanted to know him, just like I’d longed to ever since I first met him.
I wanted him to talk about his family.
I wanted to talk about mine.
To break a habit of not talking about our loss because, maybe, just maybe, we needed to stop hiding from grief and embrace it. Our ghosts weren’t there to haunt us but to support us. To prove to us that even though they were missing from this life, they weren’t gone...not really.
They were still here.
Helping us, guiding us, nudging us in the right direction.
So many conversations we needed to have. So many secrets to confess and problems to overcome, but all that truly mattered was this.
Us.
And I’d done something unforgivable by taking away his power.
Just like the other Ella had told me.
I might kneel for this man and trust him to be strong enough to shoulder all my burdens, but...I had to be prepared to do the same for him. I had to prove that he could be paralysed, and I would keep him safe. That he could be defenceless, and I would protect him. That he could be his most vulnerable, fragile self, and instead of finding pain and heartache, he would be shielded and unconditionally adored.
I’d stolen his heart before he was ready to give it to me.
And now...now, I had to prove to him it was safe within my grasp.
With the softest breath, I gave everything I was to him and slowly, ever so slowly, folded to the floor.
“Ella—?” He cupped my elbows as I flowed down his body and out of his arms. His eyes flared as I landed on the carpet and looked up at him with no walls, no secrets.
I didn’t speak.
I didn’t move.
I merely bowed my head and waited.
He breathed hard, towering over me. His jeans tented; his nostrils flared. The room came alive with electricity.
Fear trickled down my spine that perhaps he still wouldn’t accept me. That he’d chased after me purely to tell me that his fear of tragedy was stronger than his desire for love, but then...in a heart-clenching, tummy-melting move, he stepped back, squared his shoulders, and growled, “Did you mean what you agreed to back at the club? That you want me and only me?”
I nodded. “Yes, Master.”
A flood of moisture.
A kick of lust.
“Do you accept that I might stumble, might struggle, might have days where I second-guess this commitment—not because I don’t love you, but because I’m so fucking terrified of losing you?”
“Yes, Master.”
Ducking, he pressed his fingers beneath my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes. “And do you swear on everything holy that you won’t let me ruin this? Do you vow to me, here and now, that you won’t let me fuck this up?”
A tear rolled down my cheek. “I swear.”
“You swear what?”
“I swear, Master.”
His lips twitched. “Because if you fail. If you don’t do everything it takes to keep me yours, then...I won’t survive, Ella. You killed me the moment you stole my heart, and as long as you hold it tight...I’m trusting you not to let me die.”
I flung my arms around him.
Sobs caught in my throat.
“Always.” I kissed his neck, his cheeks, his lips. “Forever.”
“Well then.” He smirked the barest of smiles. “Seeing as I don’t have to worry about dying—now that my heart belongs to you—and you won’t dare die on me—because I need you to survive—I suppose there’s only one thing we need to do.”
I stilled and lowered back down onto my knees. “What’s that?”
He stood and crossed his arms.
A cloak of authority draped over his shoulders.