Total pages in book: 170
Estimated words: 160166 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 801(@200wpm)___ 641(@250wpm)___ 534(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 160166 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 801(@200wpm)___ 641(@250wpm)___ 534(@300wpm)
Only then does he turn back to close the door.
Now we’re really alone. Heat runs through every inch of me. Both in fear and in want.
He faces me again and runs his fingers through his hair. Declan came in here ready for anything it appears. My heart beats heavy and hard imagining what must have been running through his mind. Now that he knows I’m alive, he looks exhausted. He shakes his head a little and strips off his shirt. He throws it into a hamper in the corner of the room.
“Declan?” I whisper his name.
“I have to ask you some questions.” There’s emotion beneath the surface of his voice. He’s not able to hide it very well.
I pull the blankets in tighter. “Okay.”
“What did they offer you?” The question hangs in the air.
“Who?”
“The cops.” Declan undoes his belt and takes his pants off. He pulls the belt through the loops and tosses it into the opposite corner. It lands on a chair. The pants go into the hamper, too. He glances at me to see if I have an answer.
I shake my head.
His brow furrows. “The feds?”
“Nothing,” I manage to say through the knot of emotion in my throat as he continues undressing down to his boxers.
Declan crosses to the bed and climbs in next to me. The bed groans with his weight. He settles close enough to me that his warmth welcomes me to come closer. Once he’s under the covers, my heart does another flip. The tension between us feels thick enough that I could almost pick it up and touch it.
He must feel it, too, because he rolls over to me with a low noise and props himself above me on his elbows. It’s a sexual position. I can feel how hard his body is through his boxers. But his eyes are deadly serious. My heart rampages in my chest. All I want in this moment is for him to tell me it’s all going to be all right—like he did back at the hotel when I was arrested.
Declan strokes a lock of my hair away from my face with a gentleness I’ve never known from him. He murmurs in a pained voice, “Don’t ever do that again.”
Whatever emotion he was trying to hide before isn’t hidden anymore. His voice is rough, as if he’s been shouting. I ask in a cracked voice though I already know what he means, “Which part?”
“The part where you tried to take yourself from me.”
Declan’s serious expression falters, and the corners of his mouth turn down. His glassy eyes warn me that he’s going to cry. That look on his face makes it even harder to breathe. I open my mouth, but Declan swallows hard and continues speaking before I can say a word.
“I don’t care how bad it gets. I love you, and it's never too late. You hear me? It’s never too late, and I can always fix it. I’ll fix this.” He tells me words I could only dream of. The ones I’ve been praying to hear. Promises that break every wall I’ve built, no matter how shittily they were cemented together.
Tears make my throat close. I’ve wanted this to be fixed for so long, and it doesn’t seem like it’ll ever be possible. I ask the unspeakable, “How?”
“I’m still working that out.” He swallows so loud I can hear it. “Just stay here with me.”
He nudges my nose and even though that piece of us is mending, the lies and what drove me to the edge are screaming for me to say something. To do something, right now. And not to wait.
It would be easier just to go along with it, but I can’t. I’ll never forget how I felt at the police station when I realized what Declan had done. He sent people to pretend to be detectives. He set up a test for me. So whatever he says now about loving me and fixing things, he can’t be trusted.
“You lied to me.”
His face falls and his forehead leans down to touch mine. It only lasts for a second and he picks his head back up to look into my eyes. “I lie to myself sometimes, too.”
“I don’t—”
Declan silences me with a kiss. It’s a deep, desperate kiss, and it contains all the emotion from his voice.
If I were a stronger woman, I’d shove him away. But I need this as much as he does. I realize that’s where the tension was coming from. It’s taken him over, and it took me over, too. I put my hand to his chin to feel his rough stubble and kiss him back with the same desperate need.
I kiss him like I trust him again. I know I shouldn’t do that. I should keep looking for a way out. A way to fix this myself. I know better than most that you can’t rely on anyone else in life, no matter how much you want to.