Total pages in book: 247
Estimated words: 235897 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1179(@200wpm)___ 944(@250wpm)___ 786(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 235897 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1179(@200wpm)___ 944(@250wpm)___ 786(@300wpm)
“So we take them south to Loysam in the morning?” Dain asks, standing with his arms crossed next to Garrick. “The riot won’t make it past the coast if they don’t get some rest tonight.”
“Not there, either. We can’t trust anyone not to dig up whatever’s left of her bones out of morbid curiosity.” Cat shakes her head. “There are dozens of uninhabited minor isles within a day’s flight north. Pick one.”
“Cat, that’s going to deviate us from the charted—” Drake starts.
“Fucking pick one,” Cat snaps. “We can get back to all the good this”—she gestures around us—“is doing us after we burn them. I think they’re worth losing a few days off the schedule.”
Sova’s head rises to the right, and he clicks his beak. Drake looks in his direction, then nods. “Fine by me.”
“Will that mess too much up?” Maren asks me quietly, as if Cat isn’t right next to her.
“No.” I shake my head. “We can split up after they’re given to Malek and search the minor isles three times as fast. Most will only need a flyover.” I look Cat in the eye. “Then when you’re ready, we’ll depart for Loysam.”
She nods. “It’s kind of our last chance, isn’t it? We’re running out of isles.”
I ignore the insidious kernel of truth her words shove in my face and straighten my spine. “That means we have to be close. The minor isles and Loysam border the edge of every map we have.” The prospect of complete failure at such a steep cost is too heavy to swallow.
The group in the stands begins singing like they’re in a damned tavern, like today’s festivities are cause for celebration.
“Great, then we’ll get to go home…if it’s still there.” Cat draws her knees to her chest and glares over at the stands. “We’re sleeping out here tonight.”
Everyone agrees.
“Cat, I’m so sorry—” I start.
“Don’t be.” She lays her head back on Maren’s shoulder. “I’m the one who asked him to come.”
A half hour later, beds are laid out within feet of one another inside the circle the dragons form, and watches are assigned. I can’t remember ever being this tired before. The bone-weary exhaustion goes beyond fatigue, and my body is suffering for it. The dizzy flares, the screaming aches in every joint, the pain in my ribs, the urge to scratch out my stitches, and the knots in my muscles from trying to hold myself together are all getting worse by the day.
But it’s my mind that fights me the hardest as I stare up at the stars from my back, reminding me of everything we have on the line and every way in which I’m failing. Mira called this a fool’s errand, and maybe she was right.
Xaden pulls a light blanket over us as he lies at my side, then drapes his arm over my stomach. “We have six hours before third watch. Try and rest.”
I turn onto my right shoulder, protecting my ribs, then lay my head on his biceps and look up at him. “I froze today.” The admission is a whisper in my mind.
His brow knits and he splays his hand over my hip. “He was your year-mate. You didn’t freeze; you went into shock. It’s understandable and why we travel as a squad.”
“Don’t be nice just because you love me.” I rest my hand on the thin fabric of his undershirt, right over his heart. Except for our boots, we’re still dressed and ready to fly at a moment’s notice if need be. “This is my mission. Trager and Sila are dead. Cat’s heartbroken. And I froze.”
“Everyone in leadership loses someone under their command.” He strokes his hand absentmindedly up over my waist. “You pulled yourself together and completed the mission.”
“At the cost of their lives.” My chest constricts, fighting to contain the full confession that I can only give to him. “I’m not meant to lead. Mira should be in charge, or even Drake. If they won’t, then you.”
“Because my judgment is dependable right now?” He huffs a sarcastic sigh. “The best leaders are the ones who never want the job. This is your mission because Andarna chose you. Tairn chose you.” His hand rises to my face. “What they never tell us in the quadrant is that rank is well and good, but you and I both know that the moment we fly onto the battlefield, it isn’t the humans giving commands. I hate to break it to you, but you were selected by a general among dragons. You can choose to step into leadership, or he can drag you. Either way, you’re going to end up in front.”
My heart starts to race as his words pierce a shield of denial I wasn’t even aware I’d been hiding behind, exposing a truth so blatantly obvious I feel foolish for not having seen it before. Tairn will always lead, and I will always be his rider.