Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 80555 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 322(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80555 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 322(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
I’d rather the neighborhood not hear my business, but it was cold and mid-January dusk enough that most people would likely be cozy in their houses.
“Sure. Let me get leashes.” I clipped the dogs into their harnesses and wound both leashes over my palm out of habit.
“I can take one.” Eric held out a hand, apparently in extra-helpful mode, even if he was reluctant to talk.
“Thanks.” I passed over Ben’s leash, and we made our way down the street of older homes. I liked Eric’s stately neighborhood in the evening like this, with lots of lights on and cozy glimpses of families in their kitchens and living rooms.
“The party went okay, I thought. Maren seemed tired, but they received a lot of diapers and other things that will help with the baby.” Eric’s restless mood continued as he rambled on without waiting for a reply. “I’m sorry if my friends were annoying.”
“They’re not annoying.” I sighed as Jerry stopped to sniff a bush. “Your friends want you happy. And me too, apparently, judging by the number of real estate and setup offers I turned down.”
“I’m sorry.” Eric’s shoulders slumped. He shoved his free hand into his coat pocket. “I’d understand if you wanted to investigate the real estate. Or the other.”
I released the frustrated noise I’d held back for hours. Weeks, possibly. “What I want is to date.”
“I get it.” Eric sounded utterly dejected.
“To date you, in case that wasn’t clear.” I’d intended a softer warm-up to the topic. “It’s a simple solution to all the friend meddling. We date each other, and then no more well-meaning friend setups.”
Eric went suspiciously silent as we rounded the corner, heading toward the high school.
“Would it really be so terrible to tell people we’re seeing each other?” I demanded as the dogs stopped again to investigate a rocky yard feature.
“There are any number of complicated factors at play here.” Eric trudged onward the second Ben was willing to move.
“I like you. You like me.” I walked faster to keep up with his long strides. “We have a good thing going. I’m not sure I see the complication.”
“Our kids are married.” Glancing around the empty street, Eric lowered his voice to a hiss. “That ups the awkward factor by like nine thousand if we break up—”
“So, we don’t break up. Problem solved.” I offered him the tightest smile on record.
“Be logical.” He stomped his way onto the sidewalk surrounding the high school. “And Maren’s not my only kid. I’m not sure any of mine are ready for me to date.”
“Have you asked them?” I demanded, already knowing the answer before he shook his head. “See? You’re not ready for you to date. Don’t hide behind abstract worries and what-ifs when you haven’t raised the subject with them. All they hear is you saying over and over again that you’re happy single.”
“It’s not a lie.” His voice was pained.
“I see.” I hastened my own steps, ready to be done with this blasted walk and conversation.
“I didn’t mean I don’t enjoy spending time with you.” He easily matched my pace, and the dogs trotted happily along as we circled the school.
“But you don’t want to date me even though we’re already doing exactly that, minus the public component part.”
“Is the public part such a big deal?” he asked, but his guarded tone said he already knew the answer.
“I want to take trips with you. I want to have dinner with you at places other than home.” I paused near the football field, staring up at the empty school, feeling not unlike a freshman with a hopeless crush. “I want to hold hands while we walk. I want to hug or kiss you when you come into The Heist. I want to dance with you at Maren and Diesel’s wedding. Yes, it’s a huge deal.”
Eric’s expression turned more wounded, eyes big and hollow. “Even if Maren and Diesel weren’t getting married with all the associated awkwardness of dating an in-law, I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready to be part of a couple again.”
“Don’t you think Montgomery would want you to move on?” I had spent seven months avoiding saying that name, longer if I were honest. And not simply to avoid triggering Eric’s grief. I also didn’t like the reminder of how deeply Eric had loved and lost. And how damn unlikely it was he’d love again.
“Of course, he would. He said as much before he passed. It’s more that I’m not sure I can take a second heartbreak.” More of Eric’s fatalistic attitude. I stared up at the cloudy night sky, no moon for me to bray my frustration at.
“I get that you’re a first responder, but you’re already planning for the worst-case scenarios. You assume your kids will hate the idea. Or that we’ll break up. Or that one of us dies. What about the chance it works out?”