Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 73425 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 367(@200wpm)___ 294(@250wpm)___ 245(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73425 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 367(@200wpm)___ 294(@250wpm)___ 245(@300wpm)
“Well,” I bite my lip. I don’t want to give her too many hints, just in case she puts two and two together. Suddenly, inspiration strikes. I can sort of tell the truth without really telling the truth.
“It’s funny,” I start. “But I’d say they kind of look like Pastor Jordan and Pastor Jason.”
Jessie almost jumps out of her bones.
“No way! The two hottest guys in the world? You found two men who look like them? Holy shit, you lucky girl! Where do I find guys who look like that? Have you been going to male revues? Oh my god, that’s it, isn’t it?” she asks slyly. I laugh. Jessie is so excited for me, and it’s funny how she is loving this.
“No, because you know how I feel about the Thunder Down Under: sticky and sweaty, no thank you. But yeah, I feel pretty lucky because these guys are gorgeous. And they’re nice too, and really caring.”
Jessie nods, practically begging for more details, but then her spoon stops right above the carton.
“Wait, what does this have to do with Pastor Jordan? Have you been talking to him about this?” she questions with a wrinkled nose.
“Oh,” I pause and try to think about what to say. Shit, we’re getting too close to the truth now. “Yeah, I’ve just been getting advice from Pastor Jordan about this whole scenario. I was feeling so wrapped up in these guys that I was worried that maybe I was doing something wrong.” It’s a confession but leaving out some very relevant details.
Mira shakes her head.
“No way, girl. You’re doing absolutely nothing wrong. If you care for these men then how could it be wrong? I hope that’s what Pastor Jordan told you.” She looks like she’d be ready to fight him if he offered a different opinion, and I calm her down.
“He did. He and Pastor Jason have actually both been telling me that love has no shape, and that if I feel an attraction, it’s okay. There are many ways to live life. I had just been extra worried because we have a date tonight, so Pastor Jordan wanted to offer me a few calming words. It’s all been in my head, I guess. I feel happy when I’m with them, and I don’t want to screw it up.”
Mira nods, marveling at this new development in my life.
“I’m so glad. You deserve this, girl.”
She rubs my shoulder, but then gets really serious.
“Just remember,” she keeps going, “even if you didn’t have those guys, you’d still be amazing because you are you. And what are you? Phenomenal. No man, or men in this case, can take that away from you.” I almost cry at the sentiment because my friend is being so understanding and positive.
“Jessie, you’re going to make me bawl.”
“No! We don’t have time for that. You need to go get ready for your date! Go on, go on.” She waves me away and I go to my room to get changed. I like my purple dress, but it’s very church-appropriate and not at all date-appropriate.
I decide to wear something special tonight, so I reach into my closet and pull out a dress I only bought recently. It’s still well within my comfort zone, covering what I like to have covered, but it shows off some of my assets as well.
I pull it on over my head and give myself a once over in the mirror. It’s a simple black dress that clings to my body with a rounded high neck but also a slit along the side. This is something I never would have worn a year ago because in general, I like my clothes a bit on the baggier side, and this is definitely not baggy at all. It’s form-fitting and hugs my curves lovingly. Yet, this is definitely the right thing to wear because with all the changes I’ve been going through, I feel like a whole new me.
After all, I used to hate looking at myself. Whenever I saw my body in clothes, I would critique every bulge and every ounce of fat. But now, I can honestly say that I feel beautiful.
I make quick work of my makeup, wanting to go a little more natural tonight since we’re having an intimate dinner at their apartment. I put my hair up in a messy bun, turning my head back and forth to make sure everything is in place. Perfect. There isn’t much else for me to do. I have my dress on, and everything looks good. I feel like I’m ready to go. I need to get leaving soon anyways, or else I’ll be late for what might be our first actual date.
How exciting.
I know I told Jessie this was the fourth date, but it’s more like we had three steamy encounters before tonight which were vaguely date-like. Jordan didn’t really explain what the purpose of tonight was, but maybe we’ll finally put a name to whatever it is we’re doing. Clarity would be nice.