Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 88207 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88207 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
And the way he was looking at me right then, like I hung the moon? I wanted to lean forward and take his mouth. Taste his lips and tongue and make him shiver and moan… Whoa, I’d never had such a tender thought about another person, let alone another man. There was something about this guy that appealed to me at a bone-deep level.
“Thanks.” Seth swallowed roughly. “How about the first time you felt stuff for someone?”
“You mean, crushed on a girl?” I asked, and his eyebrows drew together. Damn, why the hell had I asked it like that? Of course it would be a girl—in his eyes.
“Well, yeah…” He drew back and gaped at me. “Unless I’m missing something?”
“No, no.” I shook my head. Fuck. I couldn’t, not right now. Not when I couldn’t get a handle yet on what I was feeling. “I was in high school, and I’d go to Tucker’s house a lot or hang out at the garage—hell, that was probably why his dad put me to work, because I was always there—trying to escape my house but also making sure I was there every night with Mom, in case…” I swallowed. “So anyway, there were these two older girls, and I was crushing hard on the brunette. We hooked up one night at the park, and God…” I rubbed my hand over my face. “It was awful—mostly for her. I was so nervous about screwing up and… Christ, why am I even telling you this?”
He cracked a smile. “Because I asked you and we’re sharing, and I guess that’s what friends do?”
“Guess so…” I grinned, then sobered as I considered what he’d shared. “Fuck, I’m sorry about whatever happened with that guy. I don’t ever want you to feel unsafe around me. You tell me if I ever put you in a position that makes you feel uncomfortable.”
“I will.” He looked away bashfully, then back to me. “I haven’t known you that long, but somehow I feel like you wouldn’t hurt me, at least not on purpose.” He threw his arms around me, and fuck, my stomach felt all strange. “You’ve been awesome.”
Shit. I pulled him close, and he was warm and smelled good, and fuck, he was also hard.
Hard as I was, and goddamn it—I drew back suddenly. Turmoil and fear twisted like a tornado inside my chest. What in the hell was I doing? Sleeping next to him was enough, but to imagine anything else? I was going to have a freaking panic attack.
“Gotta take a leak,” I said, then rolled out of bed. I shut myself in the bathroom, pissed, threw water on my face, and tried to get my pulse to settle down.
It’s only a hard-on. Get over yourself. This guy was throwing me for a loop, and after everything that had gone down between last night and this morning, I needed a minute to get my thoughts together.
When I walked back into the bedroom, Seth was already dressed and looking a bit unsure of himself.
“You got somewhere you need to be?” I asked, trying not to sound too disappointed. Guess I hoped to feed him again at least.
He motioned to his cell. “I’m gonna head over to Jesse’s place in a couple of hours so we can go to the mall for some stuff. How about you?”
“I’m going to check on Mom, help her assemble a dresser and whatever else she needs,” I replied, following him to the front door, where he slid back into his sneakers. “You’re more than welcome to come along. I mean, if your plans fall through.”
He hesitated a moment, as if considering it. “Thanks. For everything. I should head home to shower. Tell Bonnie I’ll see her soon.”
The moment he left, I felt strangely hollow. I forced myself to make coffee and eat breakfast before texting Mom to see if she was okay. I wasn’t the only one who needed to get used to the quiet.
15
Seth
I was a lying liar who lied.
I had zero plans with Jesse, though I wished I had. And while I wanted to call him, I forced myself not to because I couldn’t go to Jesse every time I needed something. He had his own life and a boyfriend.
The thing was, I couldn’t do that with Jake either. I mean…I wanted more nights like last night. His arms around me had felt different than Jesse’s ever had. Jesse never felt like more than a comforting friend to me, but Jake…Jake I was attracted to. And they were definitely different from Colton’s, who hadn’t wanted to comfort. He’d wanted to get off and hadn’t cared about me.
The strength of Jake’s hold had been consoling, caring. He’d asked, not pushed. I’d wanted to burrow as deep as I could and taste his lips and have him touch me in ways I’d longed to be touched but was too afraid to allow to happen.