Total pages in book: 43
Estimated words: 40046 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 200(@200wpm)___ 160(@250wpm)___ 133(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 40046 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 200(@200wpm)___ 160(@250wpm)___ 133(@300wpm)
"Is that why you're so afraid to tell him about us? You don't want to disappoint him?"
She tenses slightly and then sighs. "No, that's not it. I don't think anything I do could ever really disappoint him. He's always been my biggest cheerleader. But…he threatened to send you down to the minor league team if anything happened between us, Nash."
"What?" I blink, shock rippling through me. "When?"
"The day we met," she mutters. "He told me that he'd send you down to make an example out of you if anything happened between us. And he was dead serious. He's never wanted me to date a hockey player. Growing up, he kept me away from the arena just so I wasn't exposed to that whole world. Honestly, I don't think he wanted me to follow in his footsteps or make his mistakes."
"Baby girl, you aren't one of his mistakes."
"I think my mom was," she whispers. "He never really got over her, you know? I think it skewed his perception of relationships and the role his career played in theirs. Hockey and heartache are invariably tied for him. He doesn't want the same for me."
I process this for a moment before flipping her over beneath me. "What do you want, Emilia?"
"This. You," she whispers, her eyes watery. "I…you feel like part of me, Nash. I'm not ready to give that up. I'm just freaking terrified that he'll learn the truth and follow through. And then I'm the girl who ruined your career, just like my mom getting pregnant ruined his."
"Emilia, princess." I rest my forehead against hers. "Your mom getting pregnant didn't ruin his career. He chose to give up something that he enjoyed to keep the child he loved. That isn't a sacrifice. That's fatherhood."
"Rationally I know that, I just…" She expels a sharp breath, searching for words. But she doesn't need them. I get it. I get her. She's carried this weight for a long goddamn time, feeling like her father sacrificed his career to be her father. She doesn't want to be the reason something happens to jeopardize mine the same way. But her father didn't give up anything he wasn't willing to lose for her. I know that for a fact because I feel the same fucking way.
Telling her that isn't what she needs to hear right now, though. What she really needs is reassurance that her father doesn't regret his decision. That's what this is really about. And that's not something I can give her. She needs him for that.
"Have you ever asked him if he regrets it?" I ask, rubbing my thumb across her bottom lip.
She quickly shakes her head.
"Maybe you should."
She stares up at me silently, anxiety lurking deep in her eyes.
"Ask him, Emilia. And let yourself believe him when he tells you that you're the best decision he ever made, because I can guarantee you, when he says it, he's going to mean it."
"How do you know?"
"Because I know you." I dip my head to kiss her. "Because I feel the same fucking way." I swallow her gasp, pouring everything into her, willing her to hear it and believe it.
Christ, I need her to believe it.
Chapter Seven
Emilia
"Hey, Jordan." I glance up from my desk, surprised to see him standing in the doorway to my office, scowling. "Do you need something?"
"Yeah." He stomps inside, his hands shoved in his pockets. He looks uncomfortable as hell as he paces around my office. "I need you to psychoanalyze me or something."
"Okay…" I say carefully, trying to mask my surprise. I tried to get him in here a week ago and he told me hell no. I figured hell would actually freeze over before he ever willingly walked through my door. Logan is not cooperating either. Surprise, surprise. The rest of the team has been a lot more willing, but these two? It's been an uphill battle the whole way. "What's going on?"
"We're playing the Bucks tomorrow," he says.
Crap. He played for the Bucks for a few years before he and a teammate, Jamison Peters, came to blows midgame. It got ugly. Jordan knocked him out in front of an arena full of people. That fight almost upended his entire career. He was sent down to their minor league team before they eventually traded him to the Carvers. He's turned it around since, but it hasn't been an easy road for him.
"You're still dealing with the fallout of what happened between you and Peters," I guess.
"Fuck him," he snarls, turning those steely gray eyes on me. "He deserved what happened between us."
"Okay," I murmur, inclined to believe him. Jordan may be difficult, but he's not the kind of guy who starts fights with his teammates for the fun of it, especially not fights as bad as that one reportedly was. It still tops lists as one of the worst fights in hockey history.