Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 83676 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 335(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83676 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 335(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Austen’s voice breaks as she asks, “When will she wake up?”
“We have her in a medically induced coma because of the pain. We had to do a lot of work on her. She needs to heal a bit before we wake her up.”
“But she will wake up?” I ask, my voice as rough as Austen’s.
“She should.”
She should.
Should.
But might not.
Bile burns my throat as I lean in, kissing her hand and closing my eyes against her skin. My body doesn’t even feel like mine—hell, it doesn’t feel anything. I’m numb. Tears stream down my cheeks and onto her bed, but I don’t move. I stay where I am, holding her hand and praying for her to wake up. To see her smile. To hear my name on her lips. To hear that fucking sigh that I love more than life itself. To tell her I’m sorry and then show her how sorry I am. I need the opportunity to love her so fucking hard, she never ever wonders if I do.
I need her to tell me she loves me.
I knew she was too good to be true. No. I can’t think like that. She’s going to wake up. She’s going to look at me and tell me she loves me. She won’t leave me. Louisa isn’t everyone else; she’s more. She’s mine as much as I am hers, and fucking hell, I need her to be okay. A sob moves through me, and I grip the sheets of her bed as I squeeze my eyes shut tightly.
And I stay right there, not moving, only monitoring Louisa. I refuse to leave as the nurses walk in and out. As doctors come and go. When Eliza, Clara, and Elliot arrive. When Dan Davenport shows up. I don’t move. I don’t speak. I don’t acknowledge. I only watch, praying that she heals. That I truly have forever with her. That her future is mine like she said. Because I want it. I want all of her.
Always.
When a hand slides along my back, I tense, knowing what is about to be said. “I can take your spot while you go get some rest, get some food?”
I don’t look at Eliza. In a hoarse voice, I tell her, “My spot isn’t up for grabs.”
She cups my neck and then leans her head to mine. “Can I get you anything?” I can’t answer her, and I think she knows that. “Okay. I’m here, Ciaran. We all are.”
But that doesn’t ease my fear or make any of this better. Not to sound like an asshole, but I don’t want them. I want Louisa. As I watch the rise and fall of her chest, the pain is unbearable.
I need her to wake up.
I need to tell her I love her and never stop saying it.
To thank her for trusting me with the worst parts of her past.
It feels like an eternity as time passes. More people come and go, but I don’t move. I can’t. I don’t even make eye contact with anyone until the doctor comes in to announce Louisa has been stable long enough and they’re removing the tube from her throat. Reluctantly, I stand up to give them the room they need. I don’t go far. Though, that doesn’t stop Dan from coming up beside me. I hold my breath and feel his gaze on me while I watch them work on Louisa. She’s so pale, and all I want is for her to wake up.
I’ll bring color to her cheeks. I know I can. I just need the chance.
“You should probably head to the arena.”
I don’t trust my voice to be steady, so I shake my head.
“Son, this is your career.”
“And she is the love of my life. I can’t leave her,” I bite out, my voice breaking. “Fuck my career. Nothing will matter if I don’t have her.”
Dan’s eyes widen as he takes a deep breath. “She would want you to go.”
“I know, but I will be here when she wakes up.”
“That could be hours, days. You could go pla—”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I snap, meeting his serious gaze. “Now, if you care about my career that much and you can make a call, that’d be great. But if not, that’s fine too. But I’m not leaving.”
With that, I settle back in my chair and take her hand once more. I thread our fingers and press my lips to her knuckles. Behind me, I hear Austen say, “Dimitri called Shelli and Elli.” She speaks of the GM and owner of the Assassins, and I remember that he’s close to them. “They are aware of the situation and said to check in tomorrow.”
“Thank you, Austen,” I somehow get out, and she cups my shoulder.
She leans in, her lips by my ear. “Thank you.”
I don’t know why she’s thanking me, but I don’t have it in me to find out. As she moves away, I lean down to press another kiss to Louisa’s hand. The doctor nods, apparently satisfied with her work, and then tells us, “It’s all on her now. Let us know if you need anything.”