Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 74844 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 374(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74844 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 374(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
Tears trail down my cheeks as my mind wanders to the man who lives rent-free in my mind. To a man I know would kill anyone dead if they thought he wouldn’t be by my side for the birth of our child. To a man who, since I gave him the green light to, has cherished me like a dragon with its hoard. A man who looks at me and just smiles, even when I’m complaining that I bought the wrong ice cream. Then when I’m showering, he goes out to get the right one, even though he’d just finished earning another shutout to help the Bears win the series.
A man who had his phone with him in the rink with headphones in so he could listen to my ultrasound appointment, much to his coach’s dismay. Who, even while he was breathing hard, asked questions, and then made sure I was okay before hanging up.
A man I have undeniably fallen for.
But as my sister spins, grinning back at me, I have to stop myself from asking how she convinced Ciaran to love her after all the things she endured for us. How he accepted that she was married in the name of the cult and had been “used” at her husband’s discretion. Wasn’t Ciaran disgusted? Did he feel like he got damaged parts? But thinking that way physically hurts me, because my sister is the reason I am standing here. Free. So, how can I think of my sister as anything but perfect? Probably because I fear that Alex won’t be able to look past what I had to do.
I wipe my tears and force a smile. “You’re stunning, Lou.”
Louisa smiles at me, her eyes crinkling at the corners as they shine with excitement and pure love. Her grin turns goofy as she says, “Peepaw asked if you were going to become an honest woman before you had my nephew.”
I snort. “According to Alex, marrying him won’t make me a lick of honest.”
Clara laughs loudly, as does Austen, while Eliza gives me a small smile. “He’s such a hoot,” she says, fixing the train of Louisa’s dress. “But should we go look through the maternity wedding dresses?”
“I’m in no rush.”
Especially not for Alex to divorce me the moment he knows the truth. I scold myself for that thought and wish like hell I’d stop doing that to myself. I’m only on day three of the new meds, and I wish they worked instantly. I hate how cruel I can be to myself. Everything Alex says and does can only mean one thing—that he truly does love me. All the used, broken, and in-between parts of me, he loves. It’s mind-blowing, but he does.
“How are things?” Louisa asks, pulling me from my damaging thoughts.
I can’t help the little grin that pulls at my lips or how I hold my belly in my hands. I see the way my sisters’ eyes light up at the motion, and it only makes me smile bigger at them. I thought they’d be bummed it was a boy since all we know is girls. But nope, they are all ready to spoil him absolutely rotten. I can’t wait to see them do just that, knowing they’ll spoil me too, and I love snacks. Though, the possibility that they might not get to breaks me a bit.
With Alex doing so damn well and shutting out the last three games, a lot of eyes are on him. NHL teams are watching, especially the ones that need a goalie. They are wanting to use their first-round picks for an experienced goalie instead of drafting a young player. He’s not a young buck; he’s seasoned and has proven he is a beast to be reckoned with, mentally and physically. I don’t blame them for wanting him. When I heard him on the phone with his agent last night, I lay there on my side trying not to cry, because as much as I don’t want to leave my home, I’m starting to realize that a life without him isn’t one I want.
I knew this would happen. I knew it! Which is why I tried to keep him at arm’s length. Which is why I pushed him out that damn door and tried to hide from him. Alex is too easy to completely fall for. To crave and want to be with. He always has a quick smile. His protectiveness with me is overpowering but in a refreshing way. His insatiable need for me matches my own for him, and God, I love him.
Wholly.
“Great,” I say because it’s true. “He blocked twenty-six shots last night, came home to find me pissed that I’d bought the wrong ice cream, and while I was showering, he went out for the one I wanted.”
Clara beams as she sings, “He loves you.”