Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 88114 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88114 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
“Go ahead,” he whispers. “Open it.”
I pop open the lid. Inside is a diamond ring.
My jaw drops and the world goes still.
“White gold,” he says softly, brushing a hand down my hair and along my spine. “Fine beaded filigree scrolls. Knife edge shank. Kite set center stone. My man says it’s a reworked vintage piece.”
“Kellen.”
“You don’t need to know how much it cost. Don’t worry about that. But since you’re my wife now, you deserve a ring that matches your beauty.”
“Kellen,” I say and bite my lip. “I don’t know.”
“Put it on.”
I sit up and hold it up to the light. The diamonds glitter and sparkle, and tears form into my eyes, threatening to spill over.
This is all a lie and I don’t want to stop telling it.
It’s like a story I want to get lost in even though I know it’ll end soon.
He watches me carefully and wipes the tears away. “Don’t cry,” he says quietly. “This is a happy moment.”
“And these are happy tears, but I can’t.” I try to give him the ring back, but he refuses to take it. “I’m sorry. I love this ring, it’s beautiful and probably cost way too much, but I can’t.”
“You can and you will.” He shoves the ring back and forces my fingers to close around it. “Listen to me. Even if all this is temporary and one day we’ll go our separate ways, right now you’re my wife. That means something. The captains and lieutenants are paying attention to me now, and they’re wondering about my new bride. I want you to meet more of them, but I can’t bring you around without a ring.”
“It’s just for show then?”
“No.” He kisses me gently. “It’s for you. It’s because I want to. I could’ve gotten you any old fucking ring, but I got you that one because it made me think of you, and because you deserve something gorgeous. Now put the damn thing on.”
I sniffle, feeling pathetic, but he removes his hands and I look at the ring again. This time, I slide it into place—and it fits.
“Perfect,” he murmurs. “Wearing my ring and nothing else.”
“Asshole.” I grin at him and hold my hand in the air. The tears come again, and this time he hugs me as I cry.
Never in a thousand years did I ever think I’d have an engagement ring on my finger. I never thought a man would want something so horrible and broken like me, and yet Kellen’s looking at me like this whole fake marriage thing is much, much more than that. He tilts his head curiously, gaze moving down my body, and I know what he’s thinking. He’s looking at my breasts, and the ring, and I bet he’s wondering how it’ll be looking at the stone on my finger, the mark of his claim, when he fucks me rough.
I kiss him and pull away before he gets more ideas.
“Your dad used to have this thing he’d say when he was in an awful mood and wanted to hurt me.” I walk over to my clothes and pull on a shirt and leggings as he watches.
“I’m guessing it wasn’t very nice.”
“He’d say to me, you stay here because you know that out there, nobody will want you, you’re ruined goods, Tara. You let me do this because you hate yourself as much as I hate you. He’d say it over and over while he’d hit me. And you know what? I think he was right.”
I turn my back to Kellen, shivering. More tears roll down my face. I hate that I have these thoughts now of all times. I should be happy and not thinking about Orin but all that pain is ground so deep into my bones that I can’t escape it, even when I try to. If there was a way to forget that monster and only live in the moment, exist entire in the present, I would.
But even with the bastard dead and gone, I can’t escape.
I hear Kellen shift on the bed and come closer, but I don’t look back. I don’t want him to see the anguish that’s ripping me to pieces.
I hate that I’m letting Orin ruin this moment. Even from beyond the grave, the old bastard knows how to ruin my life. I can’t get his words from my head, can’t forget the pain and the bruises and the punches and kicks, I can’t erase him from my mind. Because for so many years, I thought he was right. I thought nobody could possibly want someone so worthless as me.
And now Kellen wants me. Maybe it’s just for sex, I don’t know, but it seems like more. I feel more when he wraps his arms around me and kisses me and looks into my eyes. That’s the terrifying thing—I feel so much more for Kellen than I ever thought possible.