Total pages in book: 104
Estimated words: 98264 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 491(@200wpm)___ 393(@250wpm)___ 328(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98264 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 491(@200wpm)___ 393(@250wpm)___ 328(@300wpm)
“This okay?” he asked. “You comfortable?”
I was a lot of things. Confused. Lost. Overwhelmed by guilt.
But because it was Camden, comfortable was one of those things too.
As an answer, I rolled toward him and buried my face in his broad chest.
His whole body sagged as he began stroking the back of my hair. “Nora. Nora. Nora.”
In a way, Camden and I were strangers, but as his heart played in my ear, I felt two puzzle pieces clicking into place. A calm washed over me. The dark cloud of my betrayals still existed outside of Camden’s embrace; it just didn’t seem so ominous anymore. He knew all the dirty and broken parts of me and still came back, holding me as though he could keep me together.
Sliding an arm around his back, I curled in close, shifting to tangle my legs with his. “I’m tired, Cam.”
“I know,” he whispered, hugging me tight.
“No, you don’t. Nobody understands. I’m a disease who infects everyone who gets close to me.” My breathing shuddered. “It hurts. Everything hurts.”
“Do you remember our first summer together when a grasshopper got into the container where we held the extra worms? You screamed so loud when you opened that thing and it came flying out like a bat out of hell. It got on your shirt and then hung on for dear life. With all the racket you were making, the damn thing had to have been terrified, but he never jumped off. I had to peel it off your shirt, one leg at a time.”
I gagged at the memory. “Thanks for reminding me of that. Awesome timing.”
He chuckled and pressed his lips to the top of my head. “I’m the grasshopper clinging to your shirt, Nora.”
Now, if that wasn’t some good old classic Camden Cole rambling, I had no idea what was.
I tilted my head back, resting my chin on his pec, and peered up at him. “You do realize I have no idea what you’re talking about, right?”
My cold, hollow chest filled with a warmth I hadn’t felt in years when he grinned down at me.
“When I left the ten-dollar bill on your nightstand, I genuinely thought you’d find your way back to me. A phone call. A visit. Anything. But as time passed and I got older, I realized I fell in love with a girl who had no idea how to be loved.”
My stomach wrenched, and emotion made my vision swim. “Camden, I—”
“No, just let me talk. Hear me out.” He tucked a stray hair behind my ear and let his thumb linger at my cheek, sweeping back and forth. “I know you love me, Nora. It’s flashed in your eyes every time you’ve seen me since we were kids. It’s like every light in the house suddenly comes on, but it terrifies you, so you spend the whole time we’re together running around, turning them all off, convincing yourself that you don’t deserve for people to love you back. But we still do it. Joe loves you. Thea loves you. Ramsey loves you.”
He paused and sucked in a deep breath. “I’ll always love you. But it can’t be me. I know it now more than ever.” He caught a tear as it slipped from my eye. “I told you I would always come back, and I will keep that promise until the day I die, but what you need is someone who can be here for you. Someone who can stay. I can’t be the only one who knows about this, babe. These secrets are eating you away from the inside out. You gotta let it out. You gotta tell Joe the truth.”
My eyes flared, and I shook my head so fast it vibrated the bed. “I can’t do it. I promised Ramsey—”
“To live,” he interrupted, his tone so sharp it cut through my anxiety. “Jesus, Nora. I don’t know Ramsey, but I guarantee you he has not spent the last four years in a cell just for you to end up in a grave.” He inched down the bed so we were eye to eye and rested his forehead against mine. “All the pain. All the devastation. All the heartache. Something good has to come from this.” He took my hand and intertwined our fingers. After bringing my knuckles to his mouth, he kissed each one. “Let it be you, Nora. Be the good.”
“How?” I croaked through ugly sobs. “Just tell me how. After everything I’ve done.”
“You have to forgive yourself and let people in. You can’t change anything that happened. Some choices you don’t get to make. Some are just made for you. But I swear to you, with my whole heart, not me, not Ramsey, not Thea, not Joe, regardless of what happened in the past, none of us would ever choose a world where you don’t exist.”