Total pages in book: 70
Estimated words: 65552 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 328(@200wpm)___ 262(@250wpm)___ 219(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65552 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 328(@200wpm)___ 262(@250wpm)___ 219(@300wpm)
Tears fill her eyes, and for one brief moment, I can’t breathe, think, or even react. I knew she was angry and sad, going through the motions, but I never… I never thought she could truly hate me. Now, I’m not so sure.
I shove my feelings down, stomping them into the earth as soon as they start to pop up. This isn’t about me. This is about her.
“I get it,” I say and close the door once she’s tucked inside.
The drive to her place–after stopping at the pharmacy–is painstakingly slow. When we pull up to her apartment complex, I’m more than thankful to get out of the car. That relief is short-lived when Kennedy gets out and starts wincing. We have an entire flight of stairs to walk up, and there isn’t any way I’m letting her walk them. Knowing this, I let her get to the complex door before I scoop her up gently and cradle her to my chest.
“Put me down,” she yells as she tries to push away from me.
“Calm down. I’m just carrying you to the apartment. I don’t want you to rip any stitches or anything.”
“What do you care? You didn’t care about me before. What makes this time any different?” Like a feral cat, she lashes out, her nails sinking into my flesh, but I ignore the small twinges of pain that she evokes over my tense muscles. I’m still not healed from the fight, but my pain is insignificant to the pain that she’s endured.
“Down you go,” I say and set her down when we reach the door to her apartment. She unlocks it with trembling fingers and shoves the door open, before turning to face me.
“You can sleep in the hall.”
“That wasn’t the deal, Kennedy, and you know it. I’m sleeping in the apartment on your couch, or we can go to my place and stay there. Whichever works best for you. I’m here for you, that’s it.”
“I hate that I ever cared about you. That I ever became your friend, and that I ever considered loving you. Leave me alone, or I’ll tell everyone that you pushed me to kill myself.”
With tears in her eyes, she twists on her heels and walks into her bedroom, slamming the door shut behind her. I carry her things into the kitchen before walking out into the living room. Sagging down onto the couch, my head falls in my hands.
Did I make the right choice coming here? By telling Claudia, I’d watch her?
In an instant, I’m reminded that I did, and all the doubt fades away.
I need to help her find her way back to the light. I owe her that, and if she still hates me at the end of this, I’ll walk away. If that’s what she really wants, then I’ll do it. I’ll let her go because that’s how much I love her. I’ll suffer the pain of losing her if it’s the best thing for her.
28
Kennedy
Four days pass in a blur. I only allow Jackson in the bedroom to check my cuts and to administer my pain pills. It takes an enormous amount of effort to shut down my feelings when he’s near. His scent surrounds me, lodging itself deep inside of my mind. I want to shove him out the front door, but the truth is I need him. In a second flat, I’ll be shoved back into the box my parents want me to live in if I don’t allow him to stay here and babysit me.
That doesn’t mean it’s easy though. He’s a reminder of everything I want to forget. My mom thought I was trying to kill myself, and that’s why I cut myself, but that wasn’t true. I don’t want to die. I just want the pain to lessen.
I woke up feeling well enough to go back to classes today, so that’s what I’m going to do. I’m not sure what Jackson has planned, but I’m going even if he doesn’t want me to. Tugging my shoes on, I let out a small sigh at the thought of fighting with him. As soon as I stand up, I feel a slight burn on my thighs and wince at the pain that lances the tender flesh.
There’s a knock on the bedroom door, and I ignore it, grabbing my backpack off the floor instead. When I get to the door, the knocking has grown more insistent, and I twist the knob, pulling it open much harder than necessary.
I can feel Jackson’s eyes roaming my body, each green orb, a heat-seeking missile against my skin.
“Where are you going?”
“Classes. I’m feeling better, and I don’t want to elongate going back. Plus, I’ve missed enough.” I only lift my gaze to the middle of his broad chest. I don’t want to see his eyes or face. He’s just a reminder of everything I’m begging to forget.