Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 104239 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104239 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)
How I’d love to break that little bitch’s hands for daring to lay them on someone so obviously above her. I want to punish Anja as much as I want to punish anyone and everyone who’s ever made Delilah feel less than. Worthless, useless, alone.
The thing is, I don’t know if it’s all a matter of protecting her or saving her misery for myself. So I can savor it, knowing I’m the only one with that sort of power over her.
And I think I’m ever going to make a decent father? Who am I trying to kid? There’s nothing for me to do but retreat to my apartment. My day is fucked, my already sparse concentration destroyed by the call from Charlotte and the unplanned contact with the girl I’ve avoided all week. At least now I’ve seen her with my own two eyes, so there’s no question of whether or not she’s in one piece—but it also means knowing firsthand what she’s going through. She can’t walk down the hall without being hit.
At least she gave some of it back. Anja was bleeding, too.
“There you are.”
Son of a bitch. Is the entire world conspiring against me today? I reach the floor where the apartments sit. I’m halfway down the hall before I notice Lauren waiting for me, leaning against my door like she has all the time in the world and nowhere else to be. It’s too late to avoid her now. Besides, it would look like I was running away. I might do just that, but I don’t want it to look that way.
“Don’t you have something better to do?” I grumble.
“Presently? No. I have been waiting for you to come in for a session, which you know very well since you’ve been avoiding my phone calls like they’re the plague.”
“If I were avoiding you, that would imply this is important enough for me to avoid. Really, I don’t have the time or the inclination.”
Her head bobs up and down slowly. “Sure. Tell me another good one.”
She won’t move away from the door, and the fury blazing within me leaves me wanting to warn her.
“Lauren. This isn’t the time. For your own sake, get out of the way.”
“Are you going to come in for a session?”
When all I do is growl, she steps aside. “You can’t avoid yourself forever, you know.”
“Who said I was avoiding myself?” I ask as I unlock the door. “It’s just that I’ve figured out what you haven’t.”
“And what is that?”
I barely spare her a glance over my shoulder. “I’m past saving, so please stop wasting your time and mine.”
With that, I slam the door, ending the conversation.
20
DELILAH
Two weeks have passed in slow motion, and each day seems to take longer to get through than the last. Lucas has fallen off the face of the earth, and I’m struggling to understand what I should do. I hate it here, and there isn’t a single soul that makes me believe this place is safe, except Lucas. I can still feel his kiss on my lips if I shut my eyes. It’s the last thing he did. I knew what he was trying to do, but I needed more.
I close the book I’m reading, realizing it’s impossible to focus on the words when my mind is elsewhere.
It only frustrates me the more I try to concentrate. How am I supposed to concentrate on reading anything when I always feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop? I can’t settle down. I can’t clear my mind.
It’s been way too quiet these past couple of weeks. Things have calmed down since the fight with Anja, and it’s damn near creepy.
Maybe it’s paranoia, but I can’t shake the idea they’re planning something. I don’t know who they are exactly. Whoever they are, they’re not giving up out of nowhere. Not when they’re so committed to hating me. That kind of thing doesn’t fade away overnight.
Maybe this is part of the plan now that I think about it. Making me wonder. Making me wait, dread, and look over my shoulder everywhere I go. Even here, in my room. I never settle in before checking under the bed and in the bathroom in case someone is hiding. I’m that afraid.
I’m also lonely. Extremely. As much as I would like to go back to the library and hang out with Brittney and Aspen, I can’t risk pissing Q off worse than I already have. It’s not so much that I’m afraid of him but of what he’ll set in motion. I don’t need to tempt him to hurt me or to have somebody else do it for him. I don’t need to give him any excuses.
But I’m starting to lose it a little. Always staring at these walls when I’m not in class. Having nobody to talk to, not a single soul. Not even Lucas, which hurts worse than anything.