Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 56709 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 227(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56709 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 227(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
When he returns to me, his eyes are blazing like green wildfire. “What the hell is this? When did you write this?”
I almost snatch the notebook away, but what would the point be? It’s out there now, and I’m almost relieved he knows. I don’t have to protect this secret anymore. Maybe that’s why the fox came, to give me a chance to be honest. Or perhaps that’s just plain nuts.
“Years ago,” I whisper, “before you left for Europe when I was a kid.”
He shakes his head slowly, staring down at the lines. “You had a crush on me.”
He says crush as if it’s a small thing. It seems so tiny with the blue sky open behind him, with the deep yellow of the prairie all around us. A crush, but it was my whole world once.
“Is this why you’ve… is this why we’ve…” He trails off, dropping the notebook, his jaw tight like he’s on the edge of an explosion. “Is this all about your goddamn childish crush?”
“No, I want you for you,” I tell him.
“But you did have a crush.”
“Yes,” I say, unable to hold eye contact with him. “When I was a kid, I—”
“I don’t want to hear about when you were a kid,” he growls. “I don’t give a damn how you felt then.”
“You asked—”
“Because I have to know if we’re in this for the real thing or if this is some silly childish thing for you. Some… Fuck, I can’t speak. This is too strange.”
He marches over to the bike, picking up a few items here and there, residue from the storage compartment. I pick up some plastic water bottles and follow him. We say nothing, like a married couple during a brief armistice.
“When did this crush start?” he asks after a pause.
“If I answer, will you snap at me again?”
He smiles tightly and answers with a side-to-side of his eyes.
“I’m not sure exactly how long.”
“Since the stories?” he asks.
“Around that time, yeah, but it’s not like I knew what it meant back then. It was just a silly childhood thing. Then, when I got older, I crushed on you, but I knew nothing could ever happen.”
“But you wanted it to.”
“I still want it to,” I whisper.
His chest seems to swell in the leather jacket, his shoulders getting broader. “You have to be sure this isn’t some childhood crush. It isn’t just that. I don’t care how you felt when you were a girl. You’re a woman now, and you have to decide. You have to be dead certain.”
Suddenly, he rushes over to me. His hands are on my hips. He squeezes with far more passion than he has yet. I feel so sensitive to everything he does as if I can judge something like that, the layers and levels of his desire, but I can. It blazes through me as fiercely as his eyes burn, holding me in place. It’s like I’m the only thing in the universe for him.
“Is your little crush going to wear off?”
“Don’t belittle it. It meant a lot to me.”
He leans down, his breath hot and savage. It’s like he’s going to combust.
“What about now? Is this all part of your crush?”
“It stopped being that the second we kissed,” I whisper. “It’s…”
I almost say everything. However, I know I can’t tell him about the aching in my womb, the thoughts beckoning to the future, to children, laughter, and a thousand other impossible moments.
“Way more than that,” I say weakly.
“I read something else in that notebook of yours,” he says, his voice getting huskier. “It was in a different color than the rest. The ink looked newer. I need to know if this is true because if it is, Kay, I won’t be able to stop. I won’t even be able to try.”
I swallow, knowing what he’s talking about right away. I wrote the question, Will I lose my virginity to him?
“It’s true,” I whisper.
“When did you write it?” he says, his tone weighty, like he’s placing much importance on this.
It’s almost like he wants me, honestly and hungrily wants me, and has to make sure it’s not just the past fueling my need. That would mean this goes much deeper than I could ever have imagined.
“In Vegas. It was silly. I didn’t even think. I just scribbled it down.”
He leans down, his breath hot on my face, warming up other parts of me, every part. “Is it true? Are you a virgin?”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Kai
She nods, pouting in that beautiful, adorable way. She’s not doing it on purpose. There’s nothing designed or forced about it. It’s just her expression when she’s revealing the truth—the truth that has me pulsing all over.
I should stop and give myself time to understand this. There’s no way I should say what I’m about to say.
“You’re my woman,” I growl, then kiss her.