Total pages in book: 50
Estimated words: 46461 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 232(@200wpm)___ 186(@250wpm)___ 155(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46461 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 232(@200wpm)___ 186(@250wpm)___ 155(@300wpm)
My breath caught when my gaze met his. He was intense. Possessive. It thrilled me to have a man like Gideon look at me that way, but how could I really be certain? I was falling fast for the big, rough biker. I’d never felt more alive than when I was in his arms. When he kissed me. He’d taken care of me since he’d met me and even made sure I’d had the babies checked. But how could I really be sure it was me he wanted and not what he thought I had or would get? Just thinking about it all made my head ache.
“Please get your foot out of the door, Ripper.” I used his road name purposefully, trying to remind myself I didn’t really know him at all. At least, not well enough that I should have the feelings I did for him. Up until right after we’d had sex, I had bought into the fairy tale. Just like I had with Devan. He’d said it was fate we’d met. That I was meant to be with him when I hadn’t been with my father when he’d died. I’d been so devastated, I’d believed him. Had let him take control so I could wallow in self-pity instead of going home to assume control of my father’s estate until the will could be put into action. I couldn’t make the mistake of trusting someone I didn’t know again. And my current situation was much more important than the other one. This time, I had three babies to think about.
For long moments Gideon just stared at me. I was afraid he was going to refuse me, but finally, he removed his foot and stepped back without a word. He held my gaze for several seconds before I could get my wits about me and shut the door. Surprisingly, I didn’t feel the satisfaction or relief I should have at shutting him out. I just felt… alone.
For the first time since this whole thing began, I broke down. As I slid down the door, the fight just left me. I dissolved into tears and buried my face in my knees. Tears turned into sobs. Sobs turned into anguished screams. I’d lived homeless for six months. I’d been cold, scared, hungry, and hadn’t gotten my babies any prenatal care. I could have been killed. My children could have been killed. And the man responsible for my predicament was in this very place. I was being sheltered by people in his club, for Christ’s sake! How safe was I now really?
There was a knock at the door, and I heard Gideon outside. “Emmanuell, let me in.” I tried to reply for him to go to hell, but I couldn’t get it out. “Emmanuell. Honey. Come on. Open the door.”
I had no idea what to do. My mind was in chaos. My heart was aching like I’d never experienced. I’d fixated on Ripper. Embraced his caring like he was the man of my dreams coming in to take all my problems away. But what did I really know about the man? Nothing. Just like I’d known nothing about Devan.
I have no idea how long I sat there, crying uncontrollably. Mourning both the death of my father and the fact that I’d let my babies down by not taking care of them properly. Triplets! There were probably any number of things I should have done to make sure they were healthy. I needed to leave, but I had nowhere to go. I’d been gone for more than six months. Mr. Goldstein wouldn’t take my calls. I couldn’t prove I was who I said I was. I’d been living homeless or in cheap motels all this time and had learned the hard way that no one cared who I used to be, only who I’d become. Without any way to verify my identity, I had become just another homeless woman. No one cared I was pregnant. No one cared if I had anything to eat or had medical care. Since Ripper had brought me into this clubhouse, with Salvation’s Bane, I’d been treated with respect and caring. Like I was someone.
Confusion only made me grieve harder. The babies kicked, which just made me even more miserable. Was I failing them by even considering leaving Salvation’s Bane? Was I failing them by trying to kick Gideon out of my life? How much of what he’d told me could I really rely on?
The next thing I heard was another soft knock at the door. “Emmanuell?” It was a female voice. She sounded worried. “Emmanuell, please open the door. We’re all worried about you.” I thought the voice was Lucy’s, but I wasn’t sure. Realizing someone other than Gideon could hear my breakdown, I crawled away from the door to sit next to the couch. I was still on the floor, unable to summon the strength to stand. I just buried my face in the crook of my arm, which was around my knees, and continued to sob.