Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 118459 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 592(@200wpm)___ 474(@250wpm)___ 395(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 118459 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 592(@200wpm)___ 474(@250wpm)___ 395(@300wpm)
My gaze lands on a box with Ever’s monkey on it. Will’s right. My OCD would normally be going ballistic about the messy state of my house. But for some reason, it isn’t. Actually, I kind of like it. And that has me worried more than anything. I noticed it last night after they went to bed. Something about seeing their things laying around made me feel calm, even though I knew they were there because of something tragic. I couldn’t shake it. I went to bed with a gnawing sensation in my gut.
I growl under my breath as I turn around.
Will is watching me, arms crossed in front of him. “Sometimes I don’t even know if I know you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I was kidding. What’s going on with you, man?”
I look at him blankly. I don’t know where he’s going with this, but he better get there fast. I walk over to the couch and sit down.
“This,” he says, motioning to the room, “none of this bothers you?” He smirks and walks across the room. He steps exaggeratedly over two boxes and plops in his chair.
“Not really.”
“Huh. That’s strange. The Crew I know got pissed at me one time for leaving a fucking shoe in the middle of the room.”
I close my eyes for a minute and consider my next words. Maybe I shouldn’t project them into the room, and maybe I should never say them out loud. But I do.
“I kind of like it, actually.” I open my eyes and look at him. Guilt overcomes me and I know I should’ve kept my mouth shut.
Fucker smirks harder.
“I shouldn’t for so many motherfucking reasons. I know that and I know I’m going to hell.”
“Man, you were going to hell way before you just said that.”
I shake my head, knowing he’s right. But still . . .
“You’re doing the right thing. You don’t think if Gage was here, he’d make you do this?”
“If Gage was fucking here, I wouldn’t have to do this.”
“Not the fucking point,” he says, leaning towards me. “You don’t have to do this now.”
I glare at him, but it only encourages him for some reason.
“Gage would expect you to take care of them. Hell, I’m kinda thinking if I didn’t support this decision, your brother might throw a lightning bolt at me. That’s how sure of this I am.”
“Not the fucking point,” I say, giving his words back to him. “I shouldn’t like this. They aren’t my family. She’s not my wife. Ever’s not my kid. They’re my brother’s family.” I put my head in my hands. “Julia was right. This was a bad idea. There’s just too much history between us. All of this makes my brain start thinking about things that could’ve . . . I just . . . damn it!”
Silence surrounds us. The more I talk, the guiltier I feel. Yet, having it off my chest and into the universe seems to lessen the burden in some strange way. But it’s still wrong. Even Will in all his douchebag glory probably sees how wrong this is.
“Gage loved them,” he says, slicing through the silence. “They were the world to him.”
I look up and open my mouth, but he cuts me off.
“Let’s say you have a puppy,” Will starts, the trademark smirk on his face. “And you love this puppy more than anything. It’s the best puppy in the world. It’s been your puppy from the time you were a little boy.”
“Then it would be a dog. I don’t see the point in your analogy here.”
“Shut the hell up and listen. Let’s say you were going on a vacation or dying or something. Would you leave that puppy to me?”
“No.”
“Exactly. Because I’d forget to feed the motherfucker and it’d die. Right?”
I laugh, starting to feel exasperated.
“Right?” he asks again.
“Right.”
“Okay. So let’s think of Jules and Ever as Gage’s puppies. He’d want someone to take care of them and feed and water them.”
I nod cautiously.
“But he’d also want someone to love them—”
“Thin ice, Will,” I interrupt, my heartbeat picking up. I don’t need connections made that aren’t already linked. I need him to shut the fuck up.
Will rolls his eyes. “Interrupt me all you want, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m right. Gage wouldn’t want them to scrape along and be miserable. He’d want them to be happy, to smile. To be safe and loved, man.”
“But it shouldn’t be by me. The fact that you are even saying this is a million ways of fucked up.”
“I’m saying what’s written all over your face. I’m saying what I’ve known since you pussed out and went back to college, leaving her to fall in love with your brother.”
“Will . . .” I warn, but I can see in his face that he’s going to press the issue. His usual happy-go-lucky persona doesn’t leave room to talk about shit that matters, but tonight, that side of him isn’t present. I have the Will that thinks he knows things he doesn’t. I have the “I-invented-the-Internet” Will Gentry.