Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 81401 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81401 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 407(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Yet, Levi doesn’t seem to see it that way. He maneuvers me onto his lap and rocks us back and forth, telling me that everything is going to be okay. He doesn’t even know what’s wrong with me and yet, he’s here, reassuring me that I’m going to be fine.
I wish I could believe him, but I can’t. Any day now Van is going to enter his rehab program, and people are going to start looking for me. They’re going to wonder where I am and when they don’t find me at home, the rumors will start flying. Coming here was the right decision, but being this close to Levi is not.
When my tears have stopped I pull myself away from him. I’m unable to look him in the eye as I stand and wipe the dirt off my now wet shorts.
“I’m sorry.”
Levi steps in front of me, so I have no choice but to look at him. “For what, Zara? Are you sorry that you’re going through a divorce? For hurting because the man you trusted destroyed the life you had built? I’ve been there before. I watched my high school sweetheart accuse me of ruining her life. I let her go because I loved her. She never saw my tears or cared that I went days without sleeping. I know our situations aren’t the same, but the pain is or was. I was heartbroken when Iris left and downright sick when I made the decision that the girls would go live with her. I get that you’re hurting, but you don’t have to hide it from me.”
He leaves me standing there, wishing I could tell him that not only am I hurting because of Van but that I’m also hurting because I’m attracted to him, and there isn’t anything I can do about it. My life. . . for what it’s worth, is a mess. It’s in shambles, and likely won’t be put back together anytime soon.
So why is my heart telling me to move on with Levi? Shouldn’t it be shutting down or putting a wall up? Instead, it beats excitedly when he’s near. My skin prickles with anticipation that he’s going to touch me with the words I want to say to him getting caught in my throat. These are not the signs of a woman who should be nursing a broken heart by taking time away for herself.
I find Levi petting the horses when I have finally gathered my wits about me. Maybe I should’ve followed Van’s path and checked myself into some sort of rehab, although there really isn’t one that helps you heal a broken heart. But is it broken?
I don’t feel like I did when I first found Van cheating on me. Those days that followed were my worst and brought up so many memories of my father walking out on us. I finally understood what my mother went through, how much pain she was in, and why she couldn’t eat or sleep.
I definitely don’t feel like that anymore, and I haven’t since I met Levi. It’s almost as if he’s opened my eyes to something better, greater even. And maybe it’s because we have nothing in common that I feel this way and this could be my mind telling me that Levi is the one for me, the one that is going to help me heal and move on from Van.
“That breakdown you witnessed. . .” I start to say but pause when he looks at me. One would think that he’d be angry that I ruined the moment, but he’s not. He’s concerned, and it shows in his eyes and the way his stance softens when I’m near. “I think it was a combination of heat, exhaustion and—”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Zara. I’m here for you, just like I told you I would be.” He doesn’t let me finish, and I’m fine with that because it’s clear that I’m in the friend zone with him. That is probably the safest place for me to be.
“Thanks, Levi.” I step into him and wrap my arms around his waist, not giving him a chance to push me away. It’s an eternity before his arms cocoon me. I feel safe and warm and feel like this is where I’m meant to be.
“Are you ready to head back?” he asks as his hands rub up and down my arms.
I nod against his chest and slowly peel myself away, but don’t fully step out of his grasp.
The sun continues to blaze behind him, and the horses stand next to us. Levi looks down at me, and that’s when I know it’s now, or never, friend zone be damned.
I rise up on my tippy toes and press my lips to his. His lips don’t pucker by the time I pull away, but the back of his hand brushes lightly against my cheek, and he bends slightly, letting his nose ghost against mine until he finally kisses me.