Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 71632 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71632 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
I swallow, and nod. “I don’t know what I’m going to do from here, Chan. Where do I go? I have no job ...”
“You stay here, I have a spare room. When you get a job, you can find another apartment. We’ll get your stuff shipped here, you don’t have to go back there. I’ll make sure you don’t have to see them again, if you don’t want.”
The thought of not seeing them again actually hurts a whole lot more than I thought it would. I like the club, and the ladies, and everyone I met through it. I liked living with Mason. I liked the job. I was actually happy for the first time in such a long time, and now that’s all gone, all because of Yolanda.
It’s always because of Yolanda.
My heart aches so hard it hurts.
“It’s going to be okay, honey, I promise.”
I meet my friend’s eyes. “I need to be distracted, I really do. I can’t think any more about this tonight, it hurts far too much, and I just don’t think I can deal. Tell me something, how are things with Boston?”
She frowns. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. Please.”
“Well, he kept calling, and I ignored it. He showed up here yesterday, all angry and broody because I hadn’t answered his calls. Those bikers are a whole different kettle of fish, aren’t they? They really know how to take a situation and get all twisted up about it.”
I snort and take another drink. “That they do.”
“Anyway, I didn’t let him in. I told him I wasn’t going to be his play thing, that even though we had fun, I had more self-respect than that. I didn’t need to come second while he chased another woman. He told me that wasn’t what I was, and got all angry, and sexy, and told me Penny is just a friend and she needed him.”
I snort. Because bullshit Penny is just a friend. Right now, that might be all she is, but if he didn’t care about her, he wouldn’t have gone running after her. He would have made sure she was okay and that was that. I think Boston is very confused, but I also think he does actually really like Chantelle, too. He isn’t the using type. Which means he’s highly conflicted.
“I told him,” Chantelle continues, “that I’m not stupid, and he needed to wake up to himself, that he most certainly did care about her slightly more than friendship. To which he got all hot and grabbed me, and kissed me, and dammit I couldn’t stop myself from enjoying it, for a few seconds, at least.”
I smile, and she flushes.
“But, I pushed him off and told him I’m not into love triangles. He left but, honestly, I’m weak, Sas. I’m weak when it comes to him. I want him to keep coming back. I want him to call me. I want him to want me. And I hate that. It feels like a competition now, like the stupid insecure part of my brain is telling me I need to win, and I need to be better than her. And I hate that. Because, she’s lovely, and I don’t want to get involved in this.”
I understand that.
Feeling like you’re less than someone else is a gut-wrenching feeling. But, what she doesn’t see so clearly now is that if she doesn’t stop this and he does happen to develop deeper feelings for Penny and goes off with her that her insecurities will eat her alive.
It’ll be something she’ll struggle forever to get over.
And I don’t want that for her.
“I get that,” I tell her. “Honestly, I do. But please, Chan, keep reminding yourself of how it will feel if he does go deeper with Penny and you’re left hurt. Your insecurities will be a whole lot worse then.”
She exhales and takes the bottle, drinking another big gulp. “You’re right, I know you’re right, which makes me angry at myself for struggling to stay away from him. And I am struggling, so damned bad. I keep telling myself how much it’ll suck if he chooses Penny, but then that little part thinks, what if he does actually want me and what he has with her isn’t what I think it is? What if they are just caring friends.”
And maybe that is the case, but I still think it’s risky. No matter the situation between all of them.
“Maybe,” I say softly. “Just be careful, Chan. That’s all I can tell you. You’re a smart girl, and you’re well old enough to know what’s right and what’s wrong, so just go with your gut. Always trust your gut.”
She looks to me, and then nods. “Thank you, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Ditto,” I murmur.
“But there is something I’m going to say before we drink the rest of this alcohol and wipe ourselves out.”