Total pages in book: 132
Estimated words: 125213 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 626(@200wpm)___ 501(@250wpm)___ 417(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 125213 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 626(@200wpm)___ 501(@250wpm)___ 417(@300wpm)
“Fine. Then I’ll throw myself off.” She leaned forward dramatically to make her point, but actually lost her balance in the process, her eyes widening and a little yelp squeaking out of her as she nearly toppled into the water.
I caught her easily with one hand, hooking it around her elbow and hauling her into me. She was so slight that I didn’t realize just how easily she’d come with the motion, and now she was half in my lap, one hand on my chest and the other wrapped around my neck as I looked down my nose at her.
Once again, she was close enough to kiss.
If I just tugged her up another inch, if I lowered my chin and angled my mouth for hers, I could taste her. I could inhale that sweet gasp I hoped she’d let out, could savor the way she’d melt into my arms.
Or was that only when it was for show?
As if she realized where my mind was, I felt her stiffen — like she was afraid I was going to kiss her instead of being anything close to excited about it. I blinked and remembered last week at her album release party, when I’d been just tempted enough to say fuck it and kiss her for real.
But she’d reminded me there were no cameras around.
She’d made it clear that was the only time she wanted my lips on hers.
I swallowed, reluctantly releasing my grip on her and helping her sit upright. But even when she was no longer in my lap, her hand still clung to my chest, her fingertips fisting in my hoodie just enough to hold me in place.
“It doesn’t matter what I want,” I finally said, my voice rough.
Mia blinked. “What… what do you mean?”
“If I did want a wife, kids… it doesn’t matter.”
“Why not?”
“Because that’s not the story meant to play out for everyone, Mia.”
“Why couldn’t it be the one for you?”
I smirked, a breath of a laugh leaving my nose as I swept her damp hair back and off her face. “What do I have to offer a woman as a lifetime partner? What do I have to offer a child as a father?” I shook my head. “I have a disease in me, Mia. One I was born with that will never leave me. Addict blood runs through me.”
“Aleks…”
“It’s true. You’ve seen me when I drink, when I give in to other ways of numbing myself. I know you still remember the Fourth of July.”
I pinned her with my gaze then, daring her to tell me I was wrong.
She didn’t.
“I have to actively fight not to let it ruin my life the way it did my parents’,” I continued, voice hoarse. “And honestly, some days, I wonder if that fight is even worth it. I don’t have a big, beautiful family to share with someone. I don’t have a lifetime of wonderful childhood memories. I’m not some well-adjusted gentleman with friends and a financial plan. I’m just…” I shrugged. “I’m just a hockey player. And some days, I’m barely that.”
Mia’s eyes flicked between mine, and I wasn’t sure if she realized she had twisted her hand up even more in my shirt, that she’d pulled me closer to her.
“You’re more than what has happened to you,” she whispered.
But did she really believe that?
The way she joked with me, the things she said about how I acted… I wasn’t so sure.
And right now, she was three sheets to the wind, as her mother would say — drunk and in a state where she could say anything, if the tequila willed her to.
Last time she had been this drunk with me, she’d asked me to kiss her.
And then the next day, she’d told me it was a mistake.
I cleared my throat, folding my hand over hers just long enough to peel her fingers off me. I stood, gently helping her up, too.
“Come on,” I said. “Let’s get you to your place. We have a big day tomorrow.”
I tried to smile with that, giving her a little wink that said I was fine and the conversation was a buried one. I didn’t miss her frown even as it disappeared under her mask. I pulled mine down, too, grabbing her hand and calling a cab as we walked toward the parking lot. James and Hunter followed from a distance behind us, but I knew they were there making sure Mia was okay.
I was thankful for them, even if I felt Mia was safe with me. I liked that she had good guys on her team to protect her.
Mia was staying in a secluded mansion on Davis Island, one not too far from where Will Perry lived with Chloe and Ava.
When we pulled up the drive and the cab driver put the car in park, I wondered what it could be like to live this life with her. What if we were coming home from a night out and instead of me walking her to her door, I was walking inside with her? What would it feel like to help her undress, to sink into a hot bath together, to hold her and touch her and make her mine in every way?