Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 80957 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 405(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80957 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 405(@200wpm)___ 324(@250wpm)___ 270(@300wpm)
It was like looking back in time, and as I stood there, watching him, I knew the answer. This kid was mine.
I knew the second Shep showed me his picture but seeing him now hit me harder than I could’ve ever imagined. He got frustrated with his game and tossed it on the cushion next to him. He leaned back and ran his hand over his face, just like I did every time I got aggravated. Damn. Even his mannerisms were like mine.
I wanted to say something, do something, but I just stood there gawking at him like an idiot. And then, like he’d sensed me looking, his head turned, and his eyes locked onto mine. It was only for a moment, but it was enough for me to muster the courage to try to talk to him.
I took a step forward but stopped when I saw Tallie walking over with a cup of coffee in her hand. Like on instinct, her eyes found mine, and she stopped dead in her tracks. Her mouth dropped as she turned and looked at our son and then back to me.
She knew I’d seen him. She raised her hand, signaling for me to give her a moment. I gave her a nod and watched as she walked over to the kid. She placed her cup of coffee on the table next to him, and then, after whispering something to him, she turned and started over to me.
My eyes were trained on the kid when she approached and asked, “Holt, what are you doing here?”
“He’s mine, isn’t he?”
“Holt.”
“Just tell me.”
“Yes, he’s yours.”
10
TALLIE
Iknew I would have to tell Holt the truth about Ford sooner than later. I was hoping I would have a little more time to figure out what to say or not to say, but the second I spotted him standing in the hotel lobby, I knew my time was up.
My chest tightened like it always did whenever he was near, but this time, it wasn’t the love I felt for him that pulled at me—it was fear: Fear of what he would think. Fear of what he would say and do when he discovered the truth.
God, I hate myself for letting this happen. I should’ve never let my father push me into a life I didn’t want, but I was scared.
Scared of what my father would do to him.
Scared that Holt would be dragged into a fight he couldn’t win.
Scared that my love for him wouldn’t be enough
I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought staying away would be better for us both.
But I was wrong.
Very, very wrong.
He was pissed at me. Anyone could see that, but as he stood there in front of me, staring at me with those same dark, determined eyes, I was struck by how much I’d missed him. It was overwhelming. I still loved him, just as I had back then, and it gutted me to see the hurt in his eyes.
I’d said the words—yes, he’s yours.
As if answering him would undo the years I’d stolen from him.
But I’d said it. I’d let it out, and as soon as the words left my mouth, I was hit with an overwhelming sense of relief. He might’ve been furious with me, but the secret was out. Holt deserved the truth. He always had, and now I had to face what came next.
“Damn. I can’t believe you did this.”
His voice was hard and cold, and I could tell by the look in his eyes that I’d broken something inside of him. “You have to give me a chance to explain.”
“There’s no explaining this, Tallie. It was one thing for you to go off and leave me and live your life in Paris. That was hard enough to swallow, but this… This is unforgivable.”
“I didn’t want to go. You know I didn’t.”
“Fuck, I don’t know anything anymore.” He turned and looked at Ford as he said, “I want to talk to him.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I wasn’t asking, Tallie.”
He had that determined look in his eyes, the same one he got when we were younger, so I knew there was no talking him out of it. I had no idea what he was going to say to him, so I pleaded, “Holt, he’s just a kid.”
“He’s my kid, and he has a right to know that he’s my kid.” The vein in his neck twitched with anger. “And yeah, I want to tell him I’m his father, but I know this isn’t the time or place. I just want to talk to him… I want to hear my son’s voice.”
I nodded and motioned for him to go talk to him. I could barely breathe as I followed him over to Ford. I felt like I was on the brink of a panic attack, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. It was really happening. Holt was finally going to meet his son, whether I was ready for it or not. Ford was still sitting on the hotel sofa, and he was so caught up with his video game that he didn’t even notice that we’d walked up.