Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 72856 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 364(@200wpm)___ 291(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72856 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 364(@200wpm)___ 291(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
“You should try the Gold Hall. That’s where I had my baby shower,” Payton said, smiling fondly at the memory.
My heart stilled as a memory assaulted me.
I didn’t have a baby shower because Colt came two weeks early.
And that was better than a baby shower any day.
I remember looking down into the bright blue eyes of my baby boy, with his messy, full head of brown hair and thinking, ‘This is the best thing I could ever have hoped for.’
I smiled as that memory pierced my heart.
As was becoming more common, I just rode the wave of sadness.
There was a time, not that long ago, where that memory would have me on my knees and in tears.
It wasn’t that the pain I felt was any less.
The pain was still fresh, but I was more accustomed to the sharp stab of it now, and I was stronger than I had been back then.
“Mia?” Masen said softly, jolting me out of my thoughts.
I smiled sadly at her concerned face.
“It’s fine,” I said, noting her concern.
She pursed her lips but thankfully chose not to say anything.
And hours went by as I enjoyed my new job.
The highlight of my day, however, was a visit from Tai during one of his many trips to the hospital during his shift.
His strong arms wrapped around me, I smiled as I buried my face in his neck.
“Hey, baby,” he rumbled.
I shivered in delight.
“Hey.”
“You doin’ alright?” He asked, running his lips along my neck.
I nodded in confirmation.
“Yeah, I’m doing alright.”
And I was.
And getting better all the time.
Chapter 23
If you stroke my beard, I cannot be held responsible for the pregnancy that will follow.
-E-card
Mia
Two months later
No.
No. No. No. No. No.
Please God, no.
I threw the white stick across the room like it was a poisonous snake attempting to bite me.
“Baby,” Tai said.
I turned to look at him through my tear-filled eyes. Tears that flooded my eyes the moment they saw those two pink lines.
I just couldn’t do it.
Not again.
“It’s positive,” he said.
He knew it.
Hell, I’d known it…although I’d been trying to deny it.
I didn’t want to know the truth, because the truth meant opening myself up to the possibility of experiencing loss again. I didn’t ever want to go through that kind of pain again.
But that’s not really accurate. I should say more.
This was the kind of pain that never went away, never dulled.
The kind of pain that was so debilitating, that even now, more than six months later, there were days that I didn’t want to get out of bed.
I felt this pain every day when my thoughts inevitably and often went to Colt.
Tai’s hands took hold of mine as he roughly yanked me to him.
We sank together to Tai’s bathroom floor.
My bathroom floor now, too.
I’d moved in with him after he’d proposed, and now, technically, I guess it was our bathroom.
Tai’s hands slid into the hair on either side of my face, and his eyes flared as they took in my devastation.
“You’ll love this baby,” he ordered.
I sniffled as my breathing hitched.
“Yeah,” I cried.
“You’ll give me a baby,” he ordered again.
I nodded.
I would.
“I love you.”
I nodded. “I do, too.”
The now familiar shrill tones of Tai’s SWAT beeper went off, and my heart started to pound.
He got up and carried me to the bedroom, placing me carefully on the bed.
I watched him as he walked to the closet where he kept all of his stuff.
This last couple of months he’d been busy.
PD, Bowe, Drew and Tai all finished their online police academy program, passing with flying colors, and completed their hands-on training hours not long ago. Luke didn’t waste any time getting them on the rotation.
He’d gone on four SWAT calls in the last month as part of his training, but none of them had caused me to feel the terror I was currently feeling.
He came back out of his closet a few minutes later as I tried my hardest not to hyperventilate. He was dressed in his black tactical pants, black SWAT shirt, and his gun belt was slung over one shoulder.
“I gotta go, I love…”
“No!” I cried, grabbing onto his hand before he could go. “You can’t leave me. If you die while I’m pregnant, I won’t be able to do it! You can’t leave!”
Tai’s arms went around my back and he pulled me into his chest.
I felt the reassuring pound of his heart. The heat of his body surrounding me in comfort.
And I tried to calm my erratic breathing.
“I can’t promise you that I won’t die. Just like I can’t promise you that I won’t, one day, get in my truck to go to the grocery store or my brother’s and get into an accident. This is life, baby, anything can happen at any time. When it’s my time, it’s my time. But I promise you,” he said fiercely, “I know what I would be missing without you. I’ll do everything in my power to always come back to you. I’ll never carelessly put myself in harm’s way. I love you so much, and I know you love me just as much. There is no way I would walk away from you, from us, without one hell of a fight, baby. I swear it.”