Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 100332 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 502(@200wpm)___ 401(@250wpm)___ 334(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100332 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 502(@200wpm)___ 401(@250wpm)___ 334(@300wpm)
In her nightgown, the bump was clearly visible, and it filled me with an intense sense of protectiveness. I’d caught her doing her nightly ritual a few times before, but I’d always quickly retreated because it had seemed like something very personal, something she didn’t want to share. But today, I wanted her to know I was here. After tonight’s events, I wanted to share a moment of peace with her.
I approached her. I didn’t try to be stealthy, but Sara was so focused on herself that she jumped when I wrapped my arms around her from behind and put my palms over hers. She met my gaze in the mirror, her eyes questioning. “How long have you been listening?”
“From the start. It’s not the first time either.”
She flushed. “I’m talking to Ambra.”
“Ambra?”
She flushed even more and gave a small shrug. “It’s not the name we have to pick. It’s just that in my head, in my dreams, she always has your eyes, so I started calling her Ambra in my thoughts. I know it’s stupid. It’s just a feeling I have.” She looked uncomfortable that I’d caught her. Did she worry I’d ridicule her need to talk to our baby? That I’d be angry because she called her by this beautiful name. Knowing that Sara imagined our daughter having my eyes made me proud.
“I know it might look odd, but I like talking to her. I want her to know that I love her.” Tears shone in her eyes, and fuck, if that didn’t make me feel as if someone had put my black heart in a vise.
I moved my palms down from her hands and put them flat against her rounded belly beside hers. “I know she can feel your love every second of the day.” My voice felt scratchy and rough. I cleared my throat, not sure how to do this. Expressing feelings still felt awkward, as if I was being unmanly. “Hey, little Ambra,” I began, even if I felt like the biggest idiot on the planet.
“We don’t have to use that name. We can pick one together,” she whispered.
“I trust your intuition, and I love the name. I don’t see a reason we should pick another one.” I could tell how much this pleased her.
I looked down at my hands on Sara’s belly because I couldn’t look into her eyes while saying what I wanted to say. Today as I worried about her life, my feelings for Sara had become crystal clear.
“Hey little Ambra, I just want you to know I’m so happy about you. And I know you can feel it every day, but your mom loves you so much.” I cleared my throat again because it felt fucking tight and dry. Could the baby even hear us? I wasn’t sure, but just the chance that she might made this feel like a monumental moment. “We can’t wait to hold you.” Sara moved her hands on top of mine. I didn’t mind making a fool out of myself when it meant Sara felt better. Today must have been hard for her if she couldn’t fall asleep. What I wanted to say next was even harder. I wasn’t sure I could actually do it. I had never tried. “And I want you to know that I will love you every day of my life just like I love your mom.”
My head felt hot, and I couldn’t look at my reflection in the mirror. Emotions were hard.
“Oh, Maximus,” Sara said in a shaky voice. “I love you too.”
I looked up, shocked. I hadn’t expected Sara to say it back, especially because I didn’t even have the balls to tell her directly. Get a grip, man.
“I love you.” I blew out a breath, feeling out of my element.
Sara gave me an understanding smile, her eyes watery. “You don’t have to say more. Some things don’t require an explanation.”
“I doubt there’s a reasonable explanation why you would love me.”
“Oh, but there is,” she said firmly, her gaze unwavering and certain. “But even if there wasn’t. Love doesn’t need a reason.”
“What I said today about revenge giving my life a purpose was bullshit. I don’t need revenge for that. Having you in my life has given me more satisfaction and happiness than I’d ever thought possible.”
Sara’s belly twitched under my palms. I froze and stared down at our hands. Had I imagined the twitch?
“Did you feel her?” Sara asked with wide eyes and quickly put her hands beside mine. “She’s very active, but she’s never kicked me this hard before, never hard enough that I could feel it on the outside.”
Another twitch followed. Sara clapped a hand over her mouth, tears falling down her cheeks. “It’s her way to show us that she heard everything.”
I put my chin down on Sara’s head and closed my eyes, simply feeling the gentle movements of our child. Who knew that such a small thing could make me so happy?