Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 77490 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 387(@200wpm)___ 310(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77490 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 387(@200wpm)___ 310(@250wpm)___ 258(@300wpm)
His voice is gentle when he says, “But you are hiding me.”
I grimace. I hadn’t thought of it as hiding him; I’m just not ready to be open about dating, but now I realize that there’s essentially no difference.
“Does this situation only apply to me, since I’m not the type of man your parents would want you to date, or does this also apply to Erik and anyone else you’re seeing?”
“I’m only seeing you and Erik and Gray. No one else. And it’s not just you. My parents don’t even know that I’m friends with Erik. When he moved into my apartment building, I didn’t tell them.”
Brax nods once at this information but doesn’t say anything, and I don’t know what to say. I knew this was an issue, but didn’t think it was something I’d have to deal with so soon.
I feel so immature suddenly, like I’m a decade younger than my actual age, and a fresh wave of anger hits me. Yes, I’ve made my own choices to go along with it, but if not for my church upbringing, I wouldn’t be so backward.
He reaches across to gently stroke my knee with the backs of his fingers. “Are you sure you’re ready to be dating all of us?”
“I don’t want to stop seeing you,” I say immediately.
Maybe there are ways in which I’m not ready, not from Brax’s point of view, but I can’t just sit at home and do nothing for fear of what my family will think.
I can’t carry on being sneaky and deceitful and making him feel like I’m ashamed of him, either.
He gives me a small smile and for the moment, it feels like everything will be okay, though I have no idea how.
“I don’t want to stop seeing you, either,” Brax says, “but I don’t want this to be a stressful situation for you.”
Biting my lip, I nod.
“You may reach a point where you have to make a choice between the church and your own beliefs.”
AVA
I let that settle in around me, not sure what to do with it, and not willing, right now, to think about what making that choice would look like.
“I’m sorry for ruining our date. I was having such a good time.”
“You didn’t ruin it.”
When I glance at him and look away, he turns my chin so that I look at him. But he doesn’t kiss me.
If we were playing a board game, we’d have just moved five big spaces backward.
“Thank you for being so patient with me.”
His warm smile softens the rough edges of that rock in my belly. “Of course. Ready to eat?”
It’s an order-at-the-counter kind of restaurant, and as we go inside, Brax says, “I don’t think they have ahi tuna here, but have you ever had Thanksgiving dinner on a hot dog?”
“What?”
He points up at a video screen where pictures of menu items are on rotation. Sure enough, there’s a hot dog topped with mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, and even cranberry sauce.
I shudder and shake my head. “My mind is officially boggled. Have you had that?”
Brax laughs. “I tried it once, yeah. It wasn’t bad, but they have a lot of other creative options here I think you’ll really like.”
The next item that appears is a hot dog topped with caramel corn and cheese sauce, and I give Brax another wide-eyed look of disbelief.
“Keep watching,” he says.
I’m not sure I want to actually eat anything here, but this menu is working perfectly to break the tension between us and improve the mood.
“Okay, maybe that one,” I say, in response to their Greek hot dog topped with tomatoes, cucumbers, olives, tzatziki, and feta.
“That is a good one,” Brax says. “There are some spicy ones you’d probably like, too.”
I end up going with a Hawaiian dog, with pineapple, bacon, and teriyaki sauce, and Brax chooses a mac and cheese dog that also has bacon on it. He lets me sample his, and both are really good. We also share an order of sweet potato fries that come with a tasty honey mustard dipping sauce.
While we eat, Brax seems to very intentionally keep the conversation on light topics, and doesn’t come anywhere near bringing up anything to do with my family or the church. For the most part, I manage to keep myself in the present moment, but doubts and worries pop up several times in the back of my mind.
“Thank you for choosing such a great place. I really enjoyed it.”
He stands and gathers items to clear our table. “I’m glad I could give you a new experience.” He holds my eye contact for an extra beat, leading me to think about what other new experiences Brax could introduce me to.
“There’s a good ice cream place next door. Do you have room for dessert?”
I give him a grin, my mind still distracted thinking about other types of treats. “Almost always.”