Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 99960 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99960 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
“And then I just got on with life. I’m not close to my parents because Mamma knows I know she’s living in denial about Dad. And Dad … I think he’s terrified that one day I’ll tell Aria. She’s a daddy’s girl through and through. His first kid, his baby. It would kill him if she saw him in a negative light. And I think he’s just waiting for the ax to fall. If he’d take two seconds to be in a room with me, I could promise him that for her sake, not his, that will never happen.”
Silence fell between us as Jared sat forward, elbows on his knees, and stared at the floor. My heart raced as I pondered what he was thinking.
Finally, he turned to me. “You’ve been carrying all of that by yourself since you were fifteen?”
I nodded.
“I’m sorry, Allegra.”
“People have been through worse. Aria was kidnapped by a stalker. Sloane was almost killed by her ex. Worse things have happened to people.”
“Aye. But they all had folks around them to share that with. You’ve kept these secrets because you either wanted to protect Aria or protect Ashton. But who …” He snatched up my hand, his grip tight. “Who was protecting you?”
I sucked in a teary breath, my vision blurring. “Jared …”
“I don’t know if what I say means anything, but I want you to know that none of it was your fault. As someone who did really awful, stupid shit as an angry kid, I know what it feels like. But I had my grandfather. He knew everything about my past. And having him carry that for me made all the difference. I know our marriage is just a business deal, but our friendship can be as real as you want it to be. I promise you now that you’ll always have it. And I’ll carry this for you. I don’t want you to be alone in it anymore.”
Overwhelming awe and gratitude flooded me and before I could second-guess myself, I leaned in and slid my arms around him, resting my cheek on one of his strong shoulders. Jared didn’t hesitate. He twisted to face me, my cheek shifting onto his chest instead and he returned my embrace.
I don’t know how long we sat there, holding each other, but I wished it could have lasted forever. His body was strong and hard and warm, and being held by him felt wonderful. Because for the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel alone. I never wanted that feeling to fade.
Yet I knew come morning, there was a huge chance it would.
So I didn’t make a move to leave his arms. I held on as long as I could.
Eighteen
Allegra
The next morning I woke with a pounding head and a dry mouth. It almost felt like a hangover, though I hadn’t had one of those since I was seventeen. As the memory of last night came crashing down on me, my legs shook as I got out of bed. In fact, all of me felt a bit shaky while I showered. There was a strange sense of relief and calm that came with finally telling my truth. But I also felt naked. Vulnerable. Like I’d given Jared the power to hurt me.
With that thought in mind, I apprehensively entered the kitchen.
Jared stood at the stove grilling what smelled like bacon and eggs. At my entrance, he glanced over his shoulder. His smile was soft, his gaze searching. “Good morning.”
I found myself relaxing a bit. “Morning.”
“You hungry?” He switched off the stove and gestured to the buttered bread rolls he’d placed on the counter. “I’m making egg and bacon rolls.”
My stomach growled in answer.
Jared grinned. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
As we settled at the table, I thanked him for the food, and he gestured impatiently for me to dig in. I could feel him watching me as I ate.
“What?”
Jared followed suit, swallowing the large bite he’d taken. “Do you fancy spending the day on the farm with me? The sheep are arriving, as is Anna, the shepherd. Thought you might like to be there to see them introduced to their new home.”
Surprised by his offer, I asked, “Are you sure?”
“Only if you want to. I know it’s not glamorous, but I’m starting to realize you don’t care about all that stuff. Do you?”
Pleased that he finally saw that, I shook my head. “No. I don’t. And I would really like to spend the day with you on the farm.”
Something unreadable crossed his face, and I thought he might reveal whatever it was. But instead, he nodded abruptly. “Good.”
It turned out Anna was a woman in her late forties who had her own sheep and hired her shepherding services out to a few farmers along the NC 500 (the North Coast 500). She used to work with Jared until he’d sold his flock last year. Anna was friendly but had a no-nonsense attitude, and she came with a beautiful border collie named Jess.