Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 99960 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99960 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 333(@300wpm)
“Chiara,” my dad bit out. “Stop.”
“We all know Allegra has been impulsive in the past.” Aria’s words made me flinch, my gaze zeroing in on my father who appeared suddenly winded by my look of betrayal. “But she is a successful artist now and not flitting around like a vagabond. And I do believe she and Jared are making a real go of their marriage. Even if they aren’t, she’s an adult, and it’s none of our goddamn business. Mamma, you had no right to interfere.”
Mamma and Aria argued back and forth, and I barely heard the words because I was watching my father. He wore a strange look as he stared back.
Then abruptly, Dad stood. “I need to tell you something.” His voice was loud enough to cut through the arguing. Mamma and Aria instantly shut up.
“Wes?” Mamma frowned.
He shook his head at her. And I suddenly recognized the emotion on his face.
Shame.
“Jared was right last night. We’ve been gaslighting our own child.”
Jared said that? Last night?
She shook her head, rage flashing in her eyes. “Do not do this. Not here. Not now.”
Oh my God. Was Dad about to admit the truth?
“Do you want Aria to go on thinking Allegra is some wild child who just put everyone through hell for nothing? Do you want to keep hurting our daughter just so you can keep burying your head in the sand?”
“Do not put this on me!” Mamma suddenly screamed. “This is not my lie!”
“What is going on?” Aria asked, her voice quiet. Afraid.
North heard her anxiety and crossed the room to pull her into his side.
While a slither of envy left a bitter taste on my tongue, I mostly felt gratitude that Aria had a husband who wanted to shelter her from every storm.
Dad moved away from the table, taking a step toward Mamma, but she retreated. She wrapped her arms around herself and looked away, sniffling. And while I resented her for choosing to live in a world of pretend, I was also heartbroken for her. She’d chosen to stay with a man who cheated because she loved him too much to leave.
“I love you, Chiara.” Dad turned from Mamma to us, his voice pleading. “I love your mother. Deeply.”
“Dad?” Aria gaped at him, as if she knew what was coming.
“But I … I had a childhood sweetheart who came back into my life about eleven years ago.” Tears brightened his eyes. “I … I couldn’t choose.”
“What are you saying?” Aria gripped tight to North’s hand as she glared at Dad. “Are you saying you’ve been cheating on Mamma for over a decade? That you have another woman?”
Dad gave a barely there nod as a sob escaped from Mamma.
“And I walked in on them having sex when I was fifteen,” I admitted dully.
My sister’s head whipped to me, her cheeks paling. “What?”
I tried, but I just couldn’t hide the bitterness in my voice. “I walked in on them and when I told Mamma, thinking she needed to know, she slapped me across the face and told me to keep my mouth shut.”
Mamma sobbed harder and rushed from the room.
I wiped away a tear that escaped.
It was out there now. I might as well tell the rest. “It messed me up and I started partying. Then partying led me to an older boy. I was just a kid who didn’t know how to deal with this secret, and Ashton made me feel seen. It turned out he had some really bad stuff going on at home. He told me about something awful that had happened to him, and when it freaked me out, I cut him out of my life. And he killed himself.”
“Fuck.” Dad dropped back into his chair and covered his face with his hands.
“That’s why I went off the rails a little. Not excusing it. Just explaining that it wasn’t because I’m a selfish, spoiled brat.”
“Oh, Ally.” Aria’s face crumpled. “Why didn’t you tell me? You should have told me all of this. You told Jared, didn’t you? This is what he meant.” She looked helplessly at North who rubbed her back in comfort. All the while my brother-in-law stared at me with sympathy and concern.
“I was just trying to protect you.” I shrugged, wiping at the tears I couldn’t stop. I was a human watering can.
“I’m supposed to protect you!” Aria rushed me, and I stumbled at the sudden movement. But then her arms were around me, and she squeezed tight as she cried.
I buried my head on her shoulder and cried, too, for this shitty, shitty day.
My sister was detail oriented. I knew she was deeply hurt by my dad’s secret, and that I’d kept it from her too. But for me, I knew she felt mostly remorse that I’d been perceived one way by my family when I wasn’t that person at all. It would never excuse my behavior as a kid. However, I could forgive myself for my choices, if not the reasons that pushed me down the path toward them.