Total pages in book: 135
Estimated words: 137310 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 687(@200wpm)___ 549(@250wpm)___ 458(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 137310 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 687(@200wpm)___ 549(@250wpm)___ 458(@300wpm)
I felt my eyes get big. “You mean, they killed him?”
“No, I mean they did a number on him, and he was so shit scared of them after they did, when they told him to get in a different business, he did.”
“Oh. Right,” I muttered.
“Then they got her set up. It took a while, but after that while, she never walked the streets again. Had a client list. Took referrals and ran checks on them before she took them on. In the end, a lot of them were just regulars who got in the habit of visiting her, they did the deed, but mostly they just wanted company, someone to talk to, and Ma was familiar.”
It hurt my soul he knew this about his mother’s business.
I wondered why she didn’t try to do something else.
Then again, single moms now had it rough. Thirty-five years ago, it had to be worse.
And it was something she knew how to do.
“Chaos also paid for her cancer care,” he continued. “Chemo. Radiation. Then eventually hospice. She didn’t have insurance. I was bouncing then, I sure as fuck didn’t have much to help her out. They got her the best Denver offered.” His voice dropped so he whispered his last. “Luxury death care.”
My heart heavy with his loss, I smoothed his hair back off his forehead, and kept running my fingers through, because as much as I wanted to wave a magic wand and change this for him, there was nothing for me to say.
“Last, they paid to bury her,” he finished.
Official, with a stamp, a gold seal and everything.
I totally loved those guys, and I hadn’t even met half of them.
“God, honey. I don’t know what to say,” I admitted.
“Nothin’ to say. It was our life. It wasn’t good. It wasn’t bad. What I know is, I had a great mom. It wasn’t about her keeping me fed or clothed, she was just a great mom. In our house, you wouldn’t know what she did. We were normal. She gave me that against some pretty slanted odds.”
They weren’t normal, with what he knew about all of this.
Then again, I’d lived a protected life. So protected, I was even protected from my mother.
So maybe they just lived an honest life.
“What do you need to do with your brothers?” I asked.
“Figure out why my ma worked so hard to give me a good life, show me the way, but I let a man who done her wrong, a man who I only met once, drag me down into thinkin’ I didn’t deserve shit. Set me on a path in life where I was just breathing, and not really living.”
I would very much like Hugger to get a handle on that.
“Will they be able to help?” I asked.
“Kinda already did. Had a conversation with our ex-president the other day. He was the one who guided them out of the fucked-up crap they were doin’. He knew my dad.”
“Biological father,” I corrected.
His lips tipped up slightly. “Biological father,” he repeated and ran a finger along my hairline. “Do you ever worry you’ll turn out like your mom?”
“No. I worry that I didn’t give my dad the credit he deserved for how hard he worked to make sure I didn’t.”
“He didn’t want you to know that, babe,” he reminded me.
“I know. And I have to get past it. I will. But we aren’t talking about me now.”
“I asked the question.”
I gave him a soft smile. “You’re right. You did.” I moved us along. “Do you worry you’ll be like your bio-father?”
“I did. Maybe still do. It’s haunted me.”
I could imagine.
“So this ex-president?” I prompted. “Is he going to help with that too?”
“Tack. Good man. Solid gold. Loving father. Loving husband. Loyal brother.”
“Okay,” I said when he stopped talking.
“Chaos recruited me. They came after me. I didn’t get that, not with who my…”—his lips curled up—“biological father was. But they told me my mom wanted it for me. I see it. She trusted them. And what Tack made of the Club, she knew it was a safe place for me. Somewhere I could be when she was gone with people looking out for me. So I became a prospect, but I did it for her.”
“I wish I’d met her,” I said fiercely.
“I do too, baby,” he whispered. “She would have loved you.”
“I hope so.”
“No, baby, get this, she would have really loved you.”
Fuck, I was going to cry again.
Fortunately, Hugger let that go and carried on, “What I didn’t get was what Ma really wanted me to have when it came to Chaos. Even though they told me from the beginning. I didn’t get it. Until recently.”
“What’s that?”
“Family.”
I closed my eyes and tucked my face in his throat.
He wove his fingers in my hair.
“I had one, and then she was gone, and it was just me,” he said quietly, like it was a confession. “But I’m understanding now, I’ve been grieving her something fierce. I been thinkin’, and I reckon that’s why I fell into just getting through one day at a time. It was always just her and me. Didn’t have any grandparents that I knew. Home wasn’t good for her growin’ up, she never went back. That meant I never lost anyone that meant anything to me. After she was gone, I didn’t know what I was feeling, so I couldn’t know how to deal with it.”