Total pages in book: 68
Estimated words: 64362 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 322(@200wpm)___ 257(@250wpm)___ 215(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 64362 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 322(@200wpm)___ 257(@250wpm)___ 215(@300wpm)
She rested her head on my shoulder. “How long are you going to hold me?”
I shrugged. “As long as it takes you to process and let me get you naked and back in bed.”
She said nothing, and I breathed her in, pressing my nose close to her head, then kissed her temple again before resting my head on the wall behind me. Minutes went by in silence, and I started to wonder if she’d fallen asleep. I wasn’t sure how long the processing was going to take, but while she needed to think, I needed to sink inside her and reassure myself she was mine.
“She’s having your baby. That’s going to form a bond between you two. You’ll be connected in a way we won’t be.”
My arms tightened around her. “Two people can have a kid and not have a connection or bond with each other. Take my parents, for example. There was no bond there. Besides, my soul has formed the only connection it was made for. That happened when I was nineteen years old,” I said.
She didn’t argue with me, and a few moments passed before she spoke again.
“Have you…did you ever see your dad…after your mom passed?” she asked.
I had, but only because he’d reached out to me.
“He walked into one of our clubs, looking for me, about five years ago. Wanted to talk. We shared a beer. He asked me about my life. Said he was sorry to hear about my mom’s death. Then proceeded to tell me that he had terminal cancer and would most likely be dead in six months’ time.”
Her head shot up off my chest, and she stared up at me, wide-eyed. “Oh, Rome,” she said, sorrow thick in her tone. “I am so sorry. I didn’t know.”
“Angel Face,” I said, grinning at her clear concern over this. I kissed her forehead and then the tip of her nose. “He was a stranger to me. I’d not seen him since I was a little kid. He’d come to make himself feel better about it by apologizing and attempting to get to know me since his time was limited. I had a beer with him. Walked him to the door and said goodbye.”
She wet her lips and still looked upset. “But did you see him again?”
I shook my head. “No. He asked if I’d come to his house for dinner. I said no, that this was his closure, and I hoped it made him feel better, but that was all he’d get from me.”
Her eyes scanned my face, as if she would find some hidden emotion hiding there. I didn’t even have regret. Not where he was concerned.
“You didn’t go to his funeral?”
“No, I didn’t. The man I called Dad had been dead to me for a long time. He wasn’t at Mom’s funeral.”
She remembered that. When he hadn’t come, it had been just one more insult to my mom.
She nodded and laid her head back on my chest. “You’re right. He didn’t,” she said softly.
I ran my fingers through her silky locks, completely satisfied to hold her.
When I had been younger and I thought about having kids one day, I’d always imagined a little girl or boy with Salem’s blue eyes and dark hair. She was the only woman I wanted to have kids with. This wasn’t an ideal situation, but I wouldn’t ignore the baby. And I still wanted the family I’d once thought I would have. Salem would be a wonderful mother and stepmother. We’d discuss it eventually.
Right now, I didn’t want to share her. I had too much lost time to make up.
10
Salem
Rome had taken me riding out to his property again. We’d also gotten ice cream from the place he had taken me to when I was a teenager and to a bookstore so I could get some books to read over the next week. I missed the library I had on my iPad, and I wanted some of my things, but until they knew who had been tracking me, I couldn’t go to my apartment.
The oddest part of staying here with him was the limbo. It was like going on a long trip and leaving all your important things behind. Except I didn’t know when I’d go back.
There were days I’d give anything to have my own space—not to get away from Rome, but from the constant reminder that he was going to have a baby. Nixie was around a lot, and if I was in the room, all she did was talk about the baby. She couldn’t wait for the ultrasound to find out its gender. I knew that was coming up today or tomorrow, but I did my best to block her out.
Admitting to myself that I was jealous made me feel like a bad person. Just because I couldn’t have a baby—Rome’s baby or Eamon’s—didn’t mean I shouldn’t be happy for someone else. But I wasn’t. I lived with a constant ache in my chest.